20 Things that are only cute when you are a kid but can get you in trouble or arrested as a grown up

20

February 6, 2013 by Katia

3 Year Old’s behaviours are classic 3 year old. Remember when you were 3? When you had a cry you really milked that cry. Your eyebrows, cheeks and nose all turned tomato red, perhaps you threw in some fists and a floor sprawl as well? 3 Year Old’s daily Academy Award winning meltdowns are caused by the most unexpected reasons: the color of the balloon stick doesn’t match the color of the balloon, mommy needs to dilute the hot water in the tub with some cold water, mommy showed up in daycare to pick him up. To cope I distance myself from the situation and similar to “imagine them all naked” I tell myself “imagine yourself in his shoes”. Much like “imagine them all naked” that doesn’t work either. I am still left feeling like cold water’s the way to go. That got me thinking, some behaviours that are considered acceptable and even cute when performed by children could get you in trouble as a grown up. Here is a list of things you shouldn’t do unless you’re 3. Or 4. I look forward to your additions:

Not cool if you're a grown up.

Not cool if you’re a grown up.

  1. Take off your underwear on your way to the washroom
  2. Make a public announcement at a party that you just peed and pooped
  3. Try to blow out someone else’s birthday cake candles
  4. Cry when you are dropped off somewhere where you are going to spend the rest of the day and maybe initially didn’t want to go, like work
  5. Spit out food that you don’t like on the table but only once you’ve given it a good chew
  6. Sing the ABC song
  7. Talk about Monsters like they exist
  8. Watch tv from 2 inches away from the screen
  9. Treat furniture like it’s optional and multi functional
  10. Participate in something called pajama day
  11. Scream, take off your shirt and throw it on the floor if you think that it might be wet
  12. Demand a new balloon NOW
  13. Use “because I wanna!!!!” as a valid explanation for your sour disposition
  14. Explain to an authoritative figure that an ice cream will make it all better
  15. Refuse to dry yourself up after a bath
  16. Run naked from the bathroom, slip and fall in an attempt to drink your glass of milk before someone else gets hold of it
  17. Ask someone to kiss your ouchy
  18. Wrestle in bed with your parents and fart
  19. Say “well, I guess I should go and stay in somebody else’s home” when an authoritative figure is not too happy with you performance
  20. Wear plush slippers
  21. Your suggestions please.

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20 thoughts on “20 Things that are only cute when you are a kid but can get you in trouble or arrested as a grown up

  1. stacyharris28 says:

    How about crawling on everybody’s lap… my son is famous for that one… oh… and shoving your foot in someone’s face and telling them to smell that. My son does that too! LOL

  2. 22. Blow a snot bubble…

  3. Emily says:

    How about “throw a temper tantrum in public and lay on the floor of a store while arching your back and screaming at the top of your lungs?”

  4. Mm, how about making a mess of your own bed, then demanding to sleep in the authority figure’s bed with them? Or, constantly demanding specific foods, then refusing to eat said foods? Insisting on help when using the bathroom – even when you have demonstrated that you are fully capable of doing it all on your own?

  5. libbylives says:

    So… wait — you’re telling me announcing your latest bowel movement to a packed party is NOT okay? Oh, dang. I got some apology notes to write…

  6. Anya says:

    How about saying to the members of one’s family (blood relatives, no less) “Touch my penis, it’s really warm”? Movie of the week material, IMHO.

  7. My child likes to chew food, spit it out and then try and feed it to me. I think she thinks I am so OLD I must have no teeth or something.

  8. writeonmum says:

    When my youngest was little, every journey on public transport was a nightmare as she liked to point out to talk aloud, saying things like “Where’s your hair Mr? Why is your head so shiny” and the worse one “Do you like to eat lots of cake or is there a baby in your big tummy? There wasn’t a baby. OMG ground, swallow me up please!!

    • Katia says:

      That is hilarious and I laughed out loud and almost woke 5 Month Old is his carrier… It happened to me a couple of times with 3 Year Old, but luckily we speak another language at home so both times that come to mind he used the word in Russian. :-P

  9. SuperZ says:

    All true- except for no.9- my husband still does this, but is (just) cute enough to get away with lying across the floor/ treating the sofa like a table etc! No-ones arrested him yet!

    • Katia says:

      Well, it’s gone on public record now, so I wouldn’t be so sure about the arrest :-P

      I the way you talk about your husband. It’s very very sweet.

  10. vegetarianmamma says:

    SO many of those are everyday occurences in my house! haha :)

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