Becoming a Grownup Cliché

43

December 6, 2013 by Katia

Remember childhood and how relicy grownups seemed? They were simultaneously a living proof of ancient times and alien life forms. You couldn’t look at them without wondering “what’s up with the differentness?” I mean their food, for God’s sake, and what was that they were wearing? Or worse yet, the stuff they thought YOU would enjoy wearing? Grownups read thick books with small letters, were very slow and tended to stay in one place all the time and talk. Some of them (think the uber-relicy ones) gave wet kisses and there wasn’t one of us who didn’t notice. I remember my childhood friend telling me he thought they probably pulled their tongues out right before landing that smooch on your cheek. Remember how much smarter YOU were and how they basically just by virtue or their state of being lent themselves perfectly to the position of Prank Victim?

One of my favourite childhood memories is playing pranks on a generation most of which doesn’t exist anymore. I remember a large gathering at my mom’s house when said friend and I were pouring hair mousse into little cups, decorating it with colourful flower-shaped beads and serving it to select guests as edible mousse. Til this day I don’t know if they faked their way through our reckless little joke or if they genuinely bought it which at age 8 would have been so DUH.

Since we knew all of that about grownups it was obvious that we were going to avoid all of those traps and that none of this fish-for-dinner-wet-smooch-crap was going to go down when the time came.

So how did this happen?

zoog

I’ve become a grown up cliché.

The other day Four Year Old snorted at something I said and used a tone with me or perhaps he just said “mama, don’t you know?…” and then I remembered: oh yeah, that’s right! He’s new, I’m old, he knows everything!

And I don’t blame him for thinking that. Here’s that silly mama character he sees.

I use empty threats because I’m actually perfectly happy staying in one spot and it’s going to be just as difficult to evacuate myself from this bed as it is to convince Four Year Old to sleep in it.

I can’t listen to Today’s Pop Hits playlist, my former bread and butter, on Songza without experiencing mild anxiety.

I eat stuff that looks like sushi and eggplant and sundried tomatoes and hummus.

Sometimes I wear red pants (is that what the kids are wearing these days?).

I say stuff like “how many times do I have to tell you…” in an exasperated tone.

I ask myself whether Sons of Anarchy is a band or a show on TV.

I’d rather sleep than play.

Whenever I’m invited to play something really cool like Santa’s Warrior (don’t ask) or “I’ll be Star Wars, you be the Bad Guy” I always prefer boring house chores.

I have a really hard time pulling myself back up to an upright position after changing One Year Old’s bum.

I eventually realize that One Direction IS NOT The Wanted.

And the hardest one to admit or explain: I’ll occasionally give my babies a wet smooch on the cheek. (hashtag WTF).

So how did I get here? I’m chucking it all up to fatigue and it’s all chuckable. Even the wet smooch – I was so tired I forgot to put my tongue back in my mouth – see? It works.

**********

Are you a grown up cliche?

This post was an FTSF post on the topic “My Favourite Childhood Memory Is…”

Please visit our wonderful hosts:

Stephanie at Mommy, For Real

Kristi at Finding Ninee

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?

Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

43 thoughts on “Becoming a Grownup Cliché

  1. I am so guilty of the wet smooch. My son wipes it off and says “ew, no kiss.” Sigh. I guess it happens to the best of us. Giggling at the mousse prank!

  2. Oh, honey, I can just *hear* your fatigue through the words! You are being way too hard on yourself. It is just a fact of life that adults leave their tongues hanging out for kisses. Some day Four Year Old will be licking his offspring, too. I heart you. Come visit me in New York to see what a real cliche’ is!!

  3. I’m still pretty cool as hell to the 4 year old, but the 2 and 10 year old both think I’m lame. Whatever to them, we’ll see who’s cool when 4 gets a kickass present from Santa and the other two get pajamas. Lol.

    • Katia says:

      You ARE cool as hell and I feel so behind! I didn’t realize, for example, that pj’s were a punishment gift. I always thought it was socks :-P You are the king of funny comments, Don.

  4. Yes! How did this happen? I remember being really tiny and believing with all certainty that old people were always as old as they looked. They’d never been young, just always old. … Guess who’s colouring her hair, frowning at wrinkles (and causing deeper wrinkles) and not running quite as fast as she used to … hmmm…

    • Katia says:

      Oh, that’s right, see I don’t even remember thinking that way but you’ve reminded me! Kudos for a great memory. Oh, and I’m still laughing out loud at the wrinkles comment! :-D

  5. Jean says:

    After my first year of teaching, I realized this and accepted it. However, I always threw in a few surprises for the kids (and now I do with mine) to make them wonder and earn a little respect from them.
    One time in the hall, I wanted to get the kids to move to the side to let another class pass so I started singing Beyonce’s song “To the left, to the left…” I was still their cliche teacher but I was cool for the rest of the day. :)

  6. I’m old, too. I’ve resigned myself to it. I’ll be ancient once my future children are born.

  7. Totally a grownup cliche and many days I am not even sure how I got here, but so with you and have to pinch myself to make sure it is still indeed me! Thanks Katia for linking up and I know seriously still can’t believe I am one of them now!

  8. See you just need to get you a little R&R and then I bet you’d make the BEST Santa’s Warrior ever!

    I leave smoochy kisses which get wiped off, but I also do sneaky snacks, staying up late and SuperHeroes…so I’m a cool Aunty. AHHHH you need to be an AUNTY. That’s what it is…

    And let someone else do the ‘Aunty-ing’ on your kids.

  9. rmemommy says:

    Oh I love it!! This is so true. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard myself sounding just like my mom (even thought I swore I wouldn’t) and I have a completely new understanding of some of the things she did when I was a kid! :-)

    • Katia says:

      Exactly, Lisa, I was never really punished except for once when my mom closed the bathroom door and walked out. That left an impression and at the same time I can say, whenever I thought about it I was NOT impressed. Now I know that for someone who never punished me to do something like that meant the last straw.

  10. Sarah says:

    Katia – this is so true!! I even remember starting out as a teacher, at age 23, thinking I was so cool and hip since I was so young, and it took about 4 minutes for me to be old and uncool and totally not ‘with’ the lingo… but at least being around teenagers all day I can keep somewhat up to date on hipness. Although I don’t think ‘hip’ is a cool word any more :) Cool probably isn’t either. Damn!

  11. VintageInk says:

    Awwwwe, you sound so tired!

    And the whole being old and relicy, it is part of a cycle. I’m sure one day, 4 year old and I year old will be doing the exact same thing, with the addition of a different lingo!! :P

    The mousse prank was so cool.

  12. This is a fantastic idea for a post- you surely picked the right one of the five possibilities! This is so funny, because my 7 year old and I were accidentally listening to “commuter comedy” in the car the other day (don’t ask) and she was like, “but why is that funny? His neck was sore?” (It wasn’t inappropriate, I promise, just a stand-up comedian complaining about getting old) and she said, “Grown-ups don’t think kids’ jokes are funny, and kids don’t think grown-up jokes are funny.” I said, “Izzy, you have just made a very important observation about the difference between kids and grown-ups.” :)

  13. It all gets better when you’re a grandmother. Kids just give you that ‘silly old lady’ look and smile, hug you and i’m certain go home and ask ” Is Nonny really crazy?” We have a large garden and my youngest grandson announced to his class that I was a farmer. When I asked him what he thought I did all day he said “knit” and “bake brownies” after I ‘Farmed”. LOL.. I can’t knit a stitch and brownies are something I make (for grandkids) cause it comes in a box requiring few ingredients, it gives me hearburn these days. Some day you will ‘rejoice’ in being the crazy old lady and it will be oh so very much fun!

    • Katia says:

      I love your comment! You WIN the internet today, Nonny! I love that there is a time to look forward to when there will finally be an excuse for my silliness! :-)

  14. I am so very cliche I have to admit. I love the part about getting your self back up after changing one yr old. I totally feel you on that one. I told my four yr old the other day that she needed to wear her boots and not her little pretty shoes because it wasn’t about looking cute it was about keeping her feet warm. This coming from the chick who used to wear her flip flps in december in upstate ny. Yep. I’m a fuddy duddy.

    • Katia says:

      Oh yes to the whole flip flop thing! My mom drives me crazy even now when she visits asking me if I’m cold every ten to fifteen minutes when we’re out. I do the exact same thing to Four Year Old.

  15. Lizzy Allan says:

    Haha yep, I’ve definitely turned into a grown-up cliché. Despite my best efforts, I’m pretty sure I get more and more like my mother every year :) Can’t believe you served the oldies hair mousse with beads! That’s hilarious!

  16. Well now that you pointed it out. I guess I am. LOL!! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said I had to do this chore or that chore first before sitting down to battle beyblades with Christopher and then being happy that a friend rang the doorbell – to my rescue. I can remember BEGGING my parents to play something with me. I probably said when I grow up I will play with my children all the time. Yikes! I also clearly remember my dad having me listen to this song or that because it was so much better that what I called music and now I do the same thing trying to get Christopher to be a fan of music that was even before my time.

    • Katia says:

      My mom tried to force classical music down my throat (in a very non-forcy-down-the-throaty way) and for years I had a knee jerk reaction of just say no (!) whenever classical music came up on the radio. It’s only now that I’m starting to occasionally enjoy it.

  17. hahaha, love this! This is exactly what I’ve been stressing about..I am 30 weeks pregnant with my first and I’ve been talking to my Husband about “becoming a grown-up” and “what’s happening to us!?” glad to know we aren’t alone!

    • Katia says:

      Thirty weeks! You’re so close! Becoming a grown-up doesn’t happen overnight. The good and bad news is it kind of sneaks up on you :-)

      Do you know what you’re having?

  18. Nina Badzin says:

    Oh yes, I certainly am. The suburbs, the minivan, the hour my husband I just spent with a tape measure, a level, and a hammer and nails hanging up updated pictures of the kids (which we’ve been meaning to do for a year, making them not that updated.)

  19. Love you blog! Thank you :)

  20. Dana says:

    I think we are all cliches for our age – my daughter is a teenager cliche, my son is a tween cliche…but that’s just a small slice of who we are. And when you emerge from the exhaustion of early motherhood, you may find yourself less cliche and more fabulous woman. I’m betting on it!

  21. Wow, I do all of those things. I’m 17! I suppose this means I’m an old soul (or whatever they’ve decided to call introspective recluses these days).

  22. It’s so true how these cliches happen! I’m not a mom but a teacher so I find myself doing so many of these things daily!

    Visiting from SITS…look forward to more.

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