November 5, 2012 by Katia
You’ve had a night like that if you have a child or two. It’s that night that starts with your child having an accident in bed and you change all of their sheets and they talk to you in their sleep and in a very stable voice they say something like mom and chocolate before they roll over and continue sleeping and you get that eerie feeling and say to yourself I hope it’s not one of those nights that we keep meeting each other over and over and over again. It is one of those nights.
It’s the proverbial night time juggle act that starts with you turning your light off way too late only to wake up two hours later and find one protective arm around your 12 week old, one ear taking in the distress signals coming from 3 year old’s room, a crescendoing mama, MAA-maa, MAAA-MAAA, MAAAMAAA (!!!!) and one brain going ‘where the HELL is 36 year old???’. It’s 1:47am and it’s time to juggle.
In a split second your groggy self complete with pillow hair and dark circled shut eyes transports itself to the bathroom where 36 year old is peacefully showering. “Can’t you hear 3 year old scream?” you scream. He panics a little bit at first because he probably thought you were a ghost. He promises he will watch 12 week old but asks you to please try not to fall asleep in 3 year old’s room this time because he really needs to shower, he is so great in taking care of 12 week old every night to allow you some sleep, you tell yourself, and you owe him at least that. So you roll your eyes at him, saying ‘oh, sure’ and report into 3 year old’s room. ‘I need you’ is the only explanation you’re going to get from 3 year old. You lie down on the toddler bed spooning him. There is no pillow on this bed, because it was removed after the accident earlier that night and the only way you won’t fall asleep is by forcing your eyes open, but on the bright side, you will take any opportunity to spoon with your 3 year old even if that elbow does repeatedly make its way into your open eye. You make a discovery, it’s very hard not to fall asleep on a bed, at 1:48am after 2 hours of sleep, even if someone repeatedly shoves their elbow in your eye socket. What to do, what to do? You ask yourself over and over again. Maybe dwelling on how much this resembles a form of torture and developing bitterness about that demonic instruction will prove enough to keep you awake? It is for now. At one point you make a desperate attempt to run which is immediately intercepted by 3 year old, who opens his eyes as though he wasn’t just snoring a nanosecond ago and armed with the word “still!” (??) he manages to keep you in his room. You make another discovery, the word ‘still!’, it turns out, is very effective in halting someone. You grow a little more bitter but manage to escape on your 3rd attempt.
You’re back in 12 week old’s territory, formerly known as your bedroom, 36 year old is back in the shower, your arm is back around unsuspecting 12 week old’s silhouette, and there’s that shout again. 5 minutes post escape. This time 36 year old is more prepared for the bathroom invasion and no longer mistakes you for a ghost. He selflessly encourages you to let yourself fall asleep in 3 year old’s room, but what do you know, all of a sudden a half of a pillowless, previously peed on toddler bed is not conducive to a good night’s sleep anymore. Neither is that blog post about ghosts you read earlier that day. It’s hard to fall asleep in a room that feels so chilly. I will spare you the chronology of that night but some significant numbers are 3 something late am, 5:40am and finally 6:20am. On a weekend, which is why weekends and daylight savings don’t really carry the same meaning if you’re a parent. That kind of night.