February 18, 2013 by Katia
Employee’s Name: 6 Month Old
6 Month Old joined our team 6 months ago and in the short time he has been with us he really made a difference.
We sat down for a formal evaluation. And an intervention.The intervention transcript won’t be delivered here. Except for the opening sentence.
Son, you’re a Jolly Junkie
Some people’s world is an oyster. 6 Month Old’s world is a jolly jumper. He jumps on my lap:
in his Exersaucer Gangnam Style:
And I am pretty sure he does it in his crib too.
I realized he was ripe for the jolly jumper when he started trying to launch himself off my lap about a month ago. So I’ve introduced the Jolly Jumper to the thinning space of my former living room and to 5 Month Old.
Call me an enabler, Doctor Phil, and pass me a Kleenex. So this is what a Baby who had found his calling looks like. On the Jolly Jumper 5 Month Old looked like a baby on a mission, frantically pushing off of his right foot and soaring high-ish, then bursting into some sort of a quick tiny step folk dance. Is it Russian, is it River Dance? Who cares, all I know is that he is always looking for the next fix.
Let me quote one of your teammates:
(mostly one sided conversation with a senior citizen with a cane and a dog at Starbucks) I have a dog too, her name is Louisa, but she’s up in the sky. But it’s OK. She’s happy! She’s with her mommy and daddy and I have a baby! His name is 6 Month Old and he pulls my hair and bites mommy’s fingers AND he bites my nose!
Team Work: Some improvement required.
I am not sure how to approach this, but we’ve received some complaints. Let’s just agree to work on that for next time.
Personal Hygiene: Some improvement required.
Moving into your own crib (as in crib), shows us that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and are making some serious progress on that account.
Self Reliance: Improvement shown.
Don’t think that the fact that you’ve enrolled in the Milestone per Day program has gone unnoticed. We are very impressed with the fact that in the course of the last week you sat up on your own, smashed a mum biscuit in two before trying it for the first time, breakdanced your way backwards in an attempt to crawl
and gave avocado a chance. This is huge, man! Now if we could only get that jolly jumping thing under control we would really appreciate it.
Motivation: Exceeds expectations.
Overall you’ve been a great addition to the team. Here is what some of the other teammates wrote on your “Happy 6 Month Anniversary” card:
Happy 6 month anniversary!
Glad to have you on our team!
And: Really? 6 months? It feels like…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Happy 6 month birthday, love!