June 27, 2013 by Katia
I am not an independent person. I think that independence is often an attribute of maturity, which, ahem, ahem.
I am not a mature person. On a day like today when I cross two nagging chores off my to do list and manage to make lunch and dinner from scratch while 10 Month Old is awake, I feel extremely accomplished as a grown up.
Last July this was me on the verge of freedom offered by a one year maternity leave that we get here in Canada.
I was embarking on a one year break from a job that was extremely demanding, extremely stressful and extremely rewarding to become enslaved to this.
An unknown. I knew only that he was going to be a boy as modern science confirmed. His movement patterns revealed that he would be as spirited as his brother and intuition prepared me for an early birth and a Leo instead of a Virgo.
During this year of “freedom” I’ve made a lot of discoveries. Like that my new benevolent captor has dark curly hair and blue eyes and a great sense of humour.
That this experience was not going to be a replica of the previous one, so better start scratching expectations off my list and replace them with question marks. That I can write stuff, as in sit down and actually complete a few paragraphs connected between them by a somewhat coherent thought. That this would be something that not just my mom would be willing to read and that someone out there may relate to. That there’s an independent voice inside me, which comes out through writing when I don’t weigh every single word a hundred times before putting it out there, where I am true to my feelings and the way I want to express them, where I allow myself the freedom, as opposed to real life, to say things without worrying that someone might read a different meaning into them and take offence.
While my American friends are getting ready to celebrate July 4th, I’ll be celebrating my own independence. An independence from self imposed limitations and some actual ones. Forsaking the devil you know is terrifying. Less so when you’re doing it for the other two devils in your life.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post on the subject of “The best July 4th I celebrated”. Please visit these lovely ladies, our hostesses at:
Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Stephanie at Mommy, for Real
Dawn at Dawn’s Disaster