Independence

26

June 27, 2013 by Katia

I am not an independent person. I think that independence is often an attribute of maturity, which, ahem, ahem.

I am not a mature person. On a day like today when I cross two nagging chores off my to do list and manage to make lunch and dinner from scratch while 10 Month Old is awake, I feel extremely accomplished as a grown up.

Last July this was me on the verge of freedom offered by a one year maternity leave that we get here in Canada.

ke_family07

I was embarking on a one year break from a job that was extremely demanding, extremely stressful and extremely rewarding to become enslaved to this.

Photo Credit: Mary Clarke at Lemon Fresh Designs

Photo Credit: Mary Clarke at Lemon Fresh Designs

An unknown. I knew only that he was going to be a boy as modern science confirmed. His movement patterns revealed that he would be as spirited as his brother and intuition prepared me for an early birth and a Leo instead of a Virgo.

During this year of “freedom” I’ve made a lot of discoveries. Like that my new benevolent captor has dark curly hair and blue eyes and a great sense of humour.

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That this experience was not going to be a replica of the previous one, so better start scratching expectations off my list and replace them with question marks. That I can write stuff, as in sit down and actually complete a few paragraphs connected between them by a somewhat coherent thought. That this would be something that not just my mom would be willing to read and that someone out there may relate to. That there’s an independent voice inside me, which comes out through writing when I don’t weigh every single word a hundred times before putting it out there, where I am true to my feelings and the way I want to express them, where I allow myself the freedom, as opposed to real life, to say things without worrying that someone might read a different meaning into them and take offence.

While my American friends are getting ready to celebrate July 4th, I’ll be celebrating my own independence. An independence from self imposed limitations and some actual ones. Forsaking the devil you know is terrifying. Less so when you’re doing it for the other two devils in your life.

April 2013 184

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post on the subject of “The best July 4th I celebrated”. Please visit these lovely ladies, our hostesses at:

Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic

Stephanie at Mommy, for Real

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?

Dawn at Dawn’s Disaster

26 thoughts on “Independence

  1. Interesting take on freedom Katia and I know from my time at home with my girls now not to take anything for granted. Thank you as always for linking up with us and hoping you are having a great night now!!

    • Katia says:

      Totally. This mat leave was so much different from the previous one in a lot of senses but one of them definitely being not taking anything for granted.🙂 Thank you so much, Janine.

  2. Betty Taylor says:

    Hope you have an enjoyable Independence Day!

  3. Joy says:

    I love your take on this weeks FTSF! It is really important to gain independence from limitations we always put on ourselves. I applaud you for that!

    • Katia says:

      Thanks so much, I still have to follow through with not putting limitations on self in the “outside of writing world” but thank you, nevertheless, for the applauding🙂

  4. Katia ~ this is lovely. I LOVE your belly pics. And what a great testament to the power of blogging, of revealing our authentic selves to the world ~ So glad I’ve found your independent voice on the web!

    • Katia says:

      Sarah, I agree this is one of the greatest and most surprising gifts blogging has given me. The ability to use my real authentic voice.🙂 The belly pics are by an amazing friend who is also a photographer🙂

  5. I totally wish we got a year of maternity! This is an amazing post- thanks Katia!

    • Katia says:

      Me too, Kate. I have friends in the States who received 6 weeks and I was sad thinking about how difficult it must be a. to leave your child at that age. b. to manage to sit on a chair at work comfortably. All sorts of TMI I won’t go into, because I don’t want to scare you.😛

  6. OK. This morning I woke up, thought about FTSF, and thought for the first time- GAH! We’ve alienated our Canadian friends! Crap! However, your take on this was absolute perfection. You never cease to surprise me with your creativity and thoughtfulness. And WOW- your photos are stunning.

    • Katia says:

      Thanks, my friend. I wasn’t sure what to write at first but I was thinking a lot about independence lately, so this was a natural choice. I still have to go through the other posts, I quickly browsed yours yesterday and I can’t wait to delve into it!!!

  7. Katia, you are gorgeous and your voice is incredible. I love your take on this week’s FTSF and how you will continue to strive for freedom in your writing. I am never disappointed by your words – they’re powerful and wonderful, and yours.

    • Katia says:

      Wow, thank you so much. You have no idea how meaningful that is coming from you, Kristi. Thank you for the words of encouragement and I’ll try to continue not disappointing🙂

  8. Jean says:

    Well, you are just awesome. What a tricky subject independence is as a woman and as a mother. I have two fire sign babies like your Leo. My husband is certain our house will burn down if we have a third child and they’re born in August. 🙂

    • Katia says:

      😀 I’ve got a firey Leo and a stubborn bull. No scratch that, two of them (husband’s a bull too). I did see my kids in your children when I read your post this week, I can see how you saw yours in mine🙂

  9. Considerer says:

    Very thoughtful, and I love how you linked it into your family🙂 Great FTSF

  10. I will simply echo the sentiments above… very nice post (visual and texturalistic*)

    As Kristi alluded to, your Post today combined the graphic elements with your written ‘voice’ exceptionally well.

    (And can there be any more important independence than that from our own limitations.)

    *old habit… when un-sure of the spelling (or existence) of a word…make one up!

    • Katia says:

      😀 I love that principle, and I follow it making words up from time to time. If texturalistic doesn’t exist, it should. Perfect word!

  11. canigetanotherbottleofwhine says:

    How sweet – the pictures are adorable and I LOVE that one of you – beautiful. I love what you wrote about writing and not weighing every single word a hundred times before putting it out there. I do that. I’m getting better from practice, but still do it – and I don’t even write anything controversial. I can only imagine how long it would take me to produce something that might tick a few people off.🙂

    • Katia says:

      😀 I know, Kate, I’m still not 100% there in terms of not weighing every word (I do occasionally weigh them, or weigh them a lot) but I always allow myself to go for my first choice. It’s quite liberating.

  12. Yes. Speak your voice! You have something worthwhile to say.

    (looove the photos, btw… you were a beautiful mcpreggers!)

    • Katia says:

      😀 I think it was the first time ever I didn’t find anything wrong with the photos. I was very happy with them. And thank you, sistah!

  13. Roshni says:

    Wow! A whole year of maternity leave! Awesomeness!! I’m sure you have all kinds of conflicting emotions running through you now!🙂

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Tired. Going from 10 months of staying at home with the kids to full time work is disorienting.  I have to redefine what my involvement in their lives looks like. I have to go dig for my creativity, it's not readily available. I have to make room for friendships that were already pushed to the outskirts of my mommy life. What was previously inaccessible, existing in the "so near yet so far" category - books, blazers and heels - became a staple in this old new reality in a matter of days. Tired and disoriented but also content, supported and appreciative. #momsofinstagram #random #randomthoughts #changes #workingmom #tired #tgif
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