July 1, 2013 by Katia
Did you ever get that annoying email with a list of items us 70’s and 80’s kids used as children but our next generation will never be exposed to? Like a rotary phone or a telephone token? Remember that email that made you think about your own parents’ childhood stories and about how you should probably update your will ASAP, and made you realize that you with your walkman, boom box and VHS past are about as happening as your mom’s school days inkwell?
On to another list of non-relevant stuff.
Lately I’ve been noticing that my house is full of stuff that is totally useless to me in my current reincarnation as a mom. Having lost their original function, these painful mementos are clearly only there to make a mockery out of me, to which I use my words and respond with a bitter yet dignified “eff you, OK?”.
I’ve compiled a list of such items to which I’ll gladly accept additions.
1. Alarm clock.
First on the “F You” list for obvious reasons. Yet I did some more thinking and then decided an apology was in order.
Please forgive me for resenting you for so long for simply doing your job and ringing at 6:15 am. Waking me up in the mid-morning was very considerate of you, and thank you as well for taking the weekends off. I’m sorry for not appreciating what we had until it was too late. Hope we can hook up again sometime. Lol.
Too painful. Too soon. Still raw. Moving on.
I’m sorry, what… who… did we?… remind me?? Oh, yes, of course!
I have no idea.
Remember when a closed door meant no? Now it just means anarchy and serves as a painful reminder of the fragility of our society’s conventions. Especially if it’s a bathroom door.
5. Specialty loose leaf lavendar teas for relaxation that you brew in cute little tea bags that you buy separately and they have these two little holes in them and you put a little plastic stick through those holes.
That. HA! Good one.
Accepting your suggestions.