August 15, 2013 by Katia
I am away on vacation right now, but this is what awaits me when I come back.
Sign #26 that you’re a parent: you’re at work in your corporate office, wearing a suit, with your hair pulled back, using proper language and shit. You reach for your bag to look for your glasses and you pull out these. True story.
They are midget size and have Elmo on them and they were a gift from grandma. The only reason you still have your job, is because you’re a parent. No one’s surprised, you’re supposed to be a loser, moving on.
Hello, I am the Milk and I’ll be delivering this crash online course on finding objects in places they don’t belong (a.k.a. Parenting 101) Like this baby and the laptop on my bed.
Anyone knows that laptops belong in your home office and babies sleep in cribs.
Well, not in this house.
I’m sure that by now you’ve noticed the Otrivin drops on the banister. And as you can see objects being placed where they don’t belong is not entirely the kids’ realm, but then again would I even have Otrivin infant Saline drops on my banister if I didn’t have kids? Must be a parent! Boom!
I can’t begin to tell you how many times a day my going about my business gets interrupted when I notice some avant garde object groups and outside of the box arrangements and go ‘really? You’ve got be kidding me’ before I go back to going about my business.
A few weeks ago I wrote about a high-heeled shoe shaped cake slicer, an egg beater and a swim board all found on my bathroom floor. Of course they were all since sent to their proper places and this is what the bathroom looks like now.
We’ve identified three categories of non-belonging: 1. Wrong room 2. Wrong season 3. Nobody plays golf in this house.
I now invite you to examine your house and if you find signs of 1, 2 and 3 then cherchez l’enfant. They’re probably somewhere they don’t belong.
Found any strange objects in strange places?