Finding Nemo in Your Hamper Basket – Parenting Signs

5

August 15, 2013 by Katia

I am away on vacation right now, but this is what awaits me when I come back.

**************

Sign #26 that you’re a parent: you’re at work in your corporate office, wearing a suit, with your hair pulled back, using proper language and shit. You reach for your bag to look for your glasses and you pull out these. True story.

Bag
Bag
These
These

They are midget size and have Elmo on them and they were a gift from grandma. The only reason you still have your job, is because you’re a parent. No one’s surprised, you’re supposed to be a loser, moving on.

Hello, I am the Milk and I’ll be delivering this crash online course on finding objects in places they don’t belong (a.k.a. Parenting 101) Like this baby and the laptop on my bed.

February 2013 028
Exercise 1: Can you help The Milk identify the 2 objects that don’t belong on the bed?

Anyone knows that laptops belong in your home office and babies sleep in cribs.

Well, not in this house.

Exercise 2: Can you help The Milk identify the object/s that do/es not belong on the banister?
Exercise 2: Can you help The Milk identify the object/s that do/es not belong on the banister?

I’m sure that by now you’ve noticed the Otrivin drops on the banister. And as you can see objects being placed where they don’t belong is not entirely the kids’ realm, but then again would I even have Otrivin infant Saline drops on my banister if I didn’t have kids? Must be a parent! Boom!

I can’t begin to tell you how many times a day my going about my business gets interrupted when I notice some avant garde object groups and outside of the box arrangements and go ‘really? You’ve got be kidding me’ before I go back to going about my business.

Also, no one golfs in this house.
Also, no one golfs in this house.

A few weeks ago I wrote about a high-heeled shoe shaped cake slicer, an egg beater and a swim board all found on my bathroom floor. Of course they were all since sent to their proper places and this is what the bathroom looks like now.

February 2013 019

February 2013 015
A Christmas decoration 3 Year Old made in school makes 36 Year Old’s soap and deodorants feel festive in February.
This spider is a rescue from the Halloween accessory bag. It makes the sign on the kitchen isle feel Hitchcockian.
This spider is a rescue. He comes to us from the Halloween accessory bag. The spider makes the sign on the kitchen isle feel unintentionally Hitchcockian.

We’ve identified three categories of non-belonging: 1. Wrong room 2. Wrong season 3. Nobody plays golf in this house.

I now invite you to examine your house and if you find signs of 1, 2 and 3 then cherchez l’enfant. They’re probably somewhere they don’t belong.

Boy in a box
Boy in a box

***************

Found any strange objects in strange places?

5 thoughts on “Finding Nemo in Your Hamper Basket – Parenting Signs

  1. This morning I slid across my bedroom, in heels, on the way to work, gliding on a Jurassic Park mini poster that came from ?. No clue. But I regained my balance and did not die.

  2. […] I am away on vacation right now, but this is what awaits me when I come back. ************** Sign #26 that you’re a parent: you’re at work in your corporate office, wearing a suit, with your hair pulled back, using proper language and shit.  […]

  3. Jean says:

    This is why I cannot fathom leaving blogging EVER. Posts like this that remind me that it’s completely normal to sit with a Godzilla and an ambulance at dinner time.

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