December 2, 2013 by Katia
How do I describe the madness that is motherhood without repeating myself? Parenting is when what you consider atypical becomes your typical. Like 5am wake ups alternating with headbutt awakenings. Like finding yourself going out of your way to reassure an inconsolably crying Four Year Old that you’re not the least bit offended and actually are very happy that he just prayed to God out loud and asked God to please not make HIS nose look like a beak when he grows up but he still loves his mommy. How do you maintain sanity when waking up is synonymous with “on your marks, get set, GO!!!!!!” and the stakes are really high and you’re there to ensure that no one falls on their head or chokes despite their best efforts.
And then in between dealing with mommy stuff you’re also expected to deal with person stuff. Last week I job searched and watched the website that I love die (R.I.P, MamaPop). What do you do to stay sane? What do you do to stay you?
So yeah last week I’ve job searched, was called Beak Nose and pulled my toddler off the couch/chair/table/washer dryer countless times but I’ve also met up with some friends not once, not twice but three times. Meeting with my non parent and parent friends reminded me of what I sound and think like. Meeting with my mommy group friends reminded me that I shouldn’t compare other people’s externals with my internals. That the mom that you compare yourself to and secretly wish that you had it all together like her is also still trying to figure it all out. It gave me great reassurance to hear questions that start with “does your son still…” or end with “does your son do it too?” and of course the eternal “does it ever get better?” Regardless of what “it” actually is the answer is yes. It gets better, then worse, then better again. There’s a strange comfort not in knowing the answer but in hearing the actual question being asked by someone else.
The book “The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain and Power of Female Friendship” which I am a proud contributor to is being launched today and a large portion of it is dedicated to the exploration of the topic – dynamics of female friendships and how motherhood affects those. The book includes 50 essays by female bloggers and an introduction by bestselling author, Jill Smokler of Scary Mommy.
If you haven’t yet met the two ladies behind this initiative, I strongly recommend visiting their insightful, thought-provoking and entertaining blogs, I give you two of my favourite bloggers and friends:
Stephanie at Mommy, For Real
Jessica at School of Smock
To buy the book click here.