Suck It, Pinterest

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January 13, 2014 by Katia

OR: (Not So) Fun Winter Activities For You and Your Toddler

I am currently participating in a research I did not sign up for on the effects of long term home confinement with a toddler on mom’s psyche. Despite the research’s ongoingness, the results are already in and they are conclusive: I cried twice today with my kids. The duration of the experiment is unknown and the end date was vaguely specified by One Year Old’s Pediatrician as “when he gets better”. My youngest is suffering from The Daycares, a condition which manifests itself in chronic cough and runny nose with sporadic and occasional outbursts of fever on the day you were planning to send him back to daycare. We’re going on week four.

In an attempt to make snot into snotenade I started searching the internet for something like this:

winteractivities3

I’m sure you’ve been exposed to some pinteresting suggestions on how to maximize your time at home with your toddler by creating adorable sock puppets from scratch or having cookie baking tournaments.

Time to get real, Pinterest. My toddler doesn’t posses the commitment level required for sitting. Sock puppets are SO not happening, which is why, based on four weeks of observation, I came up with an alternative list:

Not So Fun Activities Which Will Happen Whether You Like it or not When You’re at Home With Your Toddler and It’s -25º, So Suck it, Pinterest.

winteractivities4

1. Push “intercom” button on the phone repeatedly. Goal: The phone should never stop ringing.

2. Stand back and watch what happens when you spill the contents of your sippy cup on the floor. Goal: In the name of Science.

3. Drop the contents of IKEA coffee table drawer on the floor. Goal: Eat all of mama’s business cards.

4.  Climb on the window ledge and jump off to couch. Goal: Why should your brother have all the fun?

Dec-2013 229

5. Destroy brother’s change-pad-roofed-diaper-box-house/thinking spot. Goal: Why should your brother have any fun?

6. An empty hamper basket or toy box belongs on your head. Goal: Time to take running to the next level.

7. When being fed a bottle of milk in your room: Do NOT take it! Run in circles and if all else fails hide behind the curtain. Goal: You’ve seen the milk. You know where this is going. Don’t let that happen.

8. Empty the Kleenex box. Goal: Empty the Kleenex box.

9. Use your mouth to transport various objects around the house. Goal: At least one object has to end up in mama’s mouth.

10. Say “this” pointing at a different item each time. When mama hands it to you toss it. Advanced level: Toss it at mama. Goal: Therapeutic.

Bonus 11:

drawer

***

What sorts of (P)intersting activities are your toddlers/kids into?

Stay healthy this winter!

60 thoughts on “Suck It, Pinterest

  1. lrconsiderer says:

    Oh sweetie. I wish I could come over and babysit for you for a bit.😦 Can you get the sitter back?

    At least the boys are in good spirits, even if it’s too much for the space you’re containing them in.

  2. Karen says:

    My kids like to spin in circles on their knees to chase their “tails” like the dog, which makes an appealing cracking sound when their heads collide. Hang in there!

    • Katia says:

      I might encourage 1 Year Old to do this. It sounds like a safer option than doing same on a chair/table/couch, but I will insist on solo practice. That cracking noise – ouch! And thank you!🙂

  3. At least your sense of humour’s still up and running, girl🙂 My kids had a couple of good ones: Emptying the Nutella pot you forgot on the kitchen table with the help of a tablespoon, emptying the kitchen bin handful by handful on to the floor, and peeing off the mezzanine to admire it splashing off the dining table below are just a few. See? you’re not alone. Hang on in there, girl!

  4. Oh boy, my wife and I took turns all last week staying home with the boys being sick and had similar fun! I hat Pinterest with a passion for the sorts of reasons you suggest. Who the fuck makes cookies with their sick kids? Anyway, the 4 year old is easy. I can give him a Wii controller and not hear from him the rest of the day. G$ on the other hand….yikes. We did get the boys something called the Wow cup or some bullshit. We got ’em at Bed Bath and Beyond. Anyway, spill proof!

    • Katia says:

      Glad to hear you’re with me on Team Pinterest Hata, Don. Not that this is going to stop me from pinning this post.🙂

      I’ll look up the Wow cup online. That’ll be one less battle to pick from. Thanks so much for the tip!

  5. Your son is super adorable btw!! I hope you’re being compensated handsomely for this research you signed up for.. there needs to be rewards for this sort of participation.🙂 Hang in there Katia! -Iva

    • Katia says:

      He is adorable which makes the whole thing somewhat bearable, thank you so much, Iva. As for compensation – I aim low. I was hoping to spend a day in bed when these germs finally find me. I’m being replaced by the sitter for a couple of hours now, so I’m good🙂

  6. T. Dawn says:

    I adore this. I’m in the midst of writing my own “when toddler’s attack-ish” story. My 1yo pulled a small chair down on him today and has quite the shiner. Five minutes later he was jumping off the kid table in the living room onto the couch and then flopping on the floor. He is insane.

    One more thing we have in common…Pinterest is the enemy. I have definitely said “Are you effing kidding me” more times than “oh that looks fun” when I see Pinterest ideas come through my Facebook feed. Any mother that can pull off some of those “activities” with small children is either a saint or lives somewhere where it is legal to recreationally smoke weed. Give me crayons, paper and maybe through in a glue stick and I’m all set. My kids are usually just fine with that too (=

    • Katia says:

      Your comment wins the internet today. That was awesome. I can’t wait to read your Toddler Attack(ish) post. One Year Olds are such horrible decision makers, aren’t they?

      • T. Dawn says:

        Thanks! Motherhood brings out the funny in me. I just posted my take on toddlerhood this time around. I hope you get a giggle out of it. And yes, toddlers have NO regard for rational decision making.

      • Katia says:

        I’m super curious. I’m sure you did this topic justice. I’ll head over there tonight.

  7. I feel your pain! My son gets so bored when we’re stuck at home for more than a couple of days. Our crafts are usually limited to play doh or coloring🙂

    • Katia says:

      I know, it’s terribly boring for them and he loves the outdoors. I’ve made the mistake of sending him to daycare last week – no fever, a lot more dynamic and I thought he was ready, he was so much worse after returning that day, that I think that one day set us back a week! ARGH.

  8. Suzanne S. says:

    I have a whole category on Pinterest where I pin all the “crafts I want to do”. I get so excited to add pins thinking about what a great time I’ll have with my kids when we do this craft together, and when the time comes to actually follow through, I come back to the reality of how my kids can focus for 5 minutes max. Someday, I hope to come across a craft of an empty box, maybe a diaper box that instructs you:
    1. Take contents out of box.
    2. Set in front of child.
    3. Go get a glass of wine.
    Much more doable.

    • Katia says:

      Totally doable. My wine is a can of Coke so I’ve totally done this, except did I mention my toddler’s commitment problems? Wouldn’t stay inside the box.😛

  9. wishart17 says:

    This is by far one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Sorry for your struggle, but thanks so much for the laugh!

  10. Sarah says:

    Oh, Katia, I felt bad laughing at this because I know how much it sucks for kids to get the Daycares…. but I am glad you are finding the humor (snotenade?) in the situation. I hope things getter better soon. Hugs, mama.

  11. bethteliho says:

    Had some serious chuckles reading this, especially, “In an attempt to make snot into snotenade”. I’m so sorry there are still sickies in your house. BOO!

    As far as Pinterest activities, wait till they get older. My 6 and 9yo thought it would be great idea to jump off the arm of the game room couch and slam into the wall in order to high-five (or body slam, not sure) the Fat Head of Lionel Messi. They put an effing hole in the wall right in Messi’s navel.
    Not. Cute.

  12. Well I feel bad for you and the sick little guy, but I didn’t laugh all the way through it. Thanks for the laugh and good luck.

  13. Oh, this illness is so NOT fair! I don’t know who I feel worse for- you or him. (That’s a lie- I totally feel worse for you.) I feel bad that so many people find my blog by googling “Things to do with your kids on a snow day,” then they discover my snarky, bullshitty snow day post chronicling similar misadventures. You and I are two of a kind. I wish I had some great, clever ideas for you to get through this. If nothing else, know this: I totally cry with my kids at least twice a month. At least. Hugs.

    • Katia says:

      I am walking around feeling better today carrying your “that’s a lie – I totally feel worse for you” with me. It’s as simple as that, female support and friendship goes a long way.❤❤

  14. Aishaz says:

    Oh I know exactly how you feel…my son is 1 yr 5 months and when he got sick last month…he woke up one night at about 2:30 in the morning. His fever was down but boy was he cranky…guess what my husband had to do…play ball with him! If we stopped and tried to put him in bed, he brought the whole house down. Yes, we played ball for 2 hours. Just hang in there girl….I just love the way you look at life, all positive and always with a smile instead of being negative…that’s amazing❤

    • Katia says:

      Oh, boy. Yes, I’ve had a couple of night like that when we all but played soccer. This was when I wrote my sleep deprivation post. Thank you so much for kid words and sentiment.

  15. lkauff says:

    You had me at your title.

  16. […] OR: (Not So) Fun Winter Activities For You and Your Toddler I am currently participating in a research I did not sign up for on the effects of long term home confinement with a toddler on mom’s psyche.  […]

  17. my kids like to play this oh so fun game of “who can scream the loudest while running through the living room while wearing socks on wood floors and try not to fall and see who can wake up the sleeping baby first and manage to get out of the room before mom has a chance to yell at us” its a great game, my favorite in fact. Even better than “jump from the top bunk of our bed onto the floor and karate chop in the air and land as hard as we can so we can see who can wake the sleeping baby first” or “break dance upstairs and mimic the sound of a galloping herd of antelope”

  18. I’m laughing so hard I had to close my office door. You are brilliant and witty and I just love the last photo of him standing there with a super innocent look on his face, half a banana peeled, daring you, just daring you to do something about it! Sharing con il mondo!! xoxo

  19. I’m sorry for your troubles, but this is hilarious. At least they haven’t gotten to your sense of humor!🙂 Hope all is well soon! PS: Love the last photo! Kids are so lucky they are cute.

  20. Liz says:

    Hilarious! Totally relate! Esp loved that he doesn’t have the commitment level for sitting. Haha.

  21. muvvaluv says:

    Thanks for this great post! Highly relatable! We are experiencing confinement of the extreme heat kind down here in Aus…upwards of 40C at the moment!

    • Katia says:

      Thank you so much and sorry it only took me 3 days to answer! My kid is back to daycare and I’m catching up. That’s hot. I come from Israel so I can relate more to your type of weather-induced-home-confinement. Hope it’s gotten better!

  22. findingninee says:

    Oh Katia! What a funny (and relatable and OMG that SUCKS that you’re on week four of snot-filled kids). Pinterest is dumb. Seriously, NOBODY bakes cookies with sick kids. And sock puppets? Are they for real? Nobody actually likes sock puppets. I love the last photo. My son tried to climb into the refrigerator the other day. Almost gave me a heart attack. I hope you get a break soon my lovely friend!

    • Katia says:

      To be fair, I didn’t actually search Pinterest and find sock puppets. That was my artistic vision of what I would or might find there based on previous experience.😛

  23. Dana says:

    You poor thing. Remember when I offered to watch your kids and bring my kids along to help? I’m thinking maybe I’ll just let my kids handle the babysitting🙂

  24. Sarah Almond says:

    Oh Katia! I’m laughing but not at you-I can so relate!

    Toilet paper tubes. Just grab em. They can use them for anything-decorating, telescopes, binoculars, blow darts. Got wrapping paper tubes? Let them beat each other senseless with them. At one time I was tearing my hair out with all of the decorated tubes laying around my house! Aaaaaaaaaaa!

    So get yourself some tubes and feel my pain. AND it may keep them busy for a second or two.

    And those kleenex boxes? Oh yeah, those are useful too. Empty em out and use them. SKATES!

    • Katia says:

      Oh, wrapping paper tubes!!! I love where you’re going with that! I will absolutely give this a try (notice how I’m completely OK with the “beating each other senseless part”?). PT tubes do tend to keep them busy for a second. Let’s hope that bigger is better in a toddler’s world.

      Tried the kleenex boxes but not as skates. You are the Martha Stewart of insane toddlers. I love you. Thank you!

  25. […] kind of had it with feeling guilty.  As a fellow blogging Momma said, Suck it, Pinterest!  I want to vomit glitter and hot glue every time I see a recommended “craft” idea come […]

  26. danmcgru says:

    I’m enjoying the one where she says ‘Mummy COME!’ everytime I sit down and if I don’t she comes over and tries to pry me off the chair shouting ‘OFF!’

  27. birthnbabes says:

    I enjoyed this article hysterically, not without empathy. I am the mother of an almost two year old and understand what a real stay at home mom endures as well as a working mom. My daughter’s current favorite is to throw herself onto the ground but ever so careful to protect her head then kick and scream or worse come after us to truly express her frustration. My pediatrician jokes and asks me how I’m progressing in conversation with the Neanderthal.. it’s funnier when it isn’t your reality.

    • Katia says:

      Oh, I love your pediatrician!😀

      Yes, my mom and I’ve determined that the best way to describe 18 Month Old, who pulls his socks off and runs around the house yelling “AKA!” (think “ucka!”) is Mowgli.I can relate…

  28. […] crib jumping. A while ago I had mentioned my kids’ chronic suffering from a condition called The Daycares. Yesterday it was 19 Month Old’s turn to show symptoms, so he stayed at home while the […]

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Tired. Going from 10 months of staying at home with the kids to full time work is disorienting.  I have to redefine what my involvement in their lives looks like. I have to go dig for my creativity, it's not readily available. I have to make room for friendships that were already pushed to the outskirts of my mommy life. What was previously inaccessible, existing in the "so near yet so far" category - books, blazers and heels - became a staple in this old new reality in a matter of days. Tired and disoriented but also content, supported and appreciative. #momsofinstagram #random #randomthoughts #changes #workingmom #tired #tgif
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