The Blogging Casualties

72

January 30, 2014 by Katia

A funny thing happened on my way home from the grocery store. As I was approaching my house I lifted my gaze to the window, expecting for a whole second to actually see my dog. Then I remembered she wasn’t going to be there. Can’t be there. It’s been well over a year now, but I suppose home and its derivative, comfort-ness, will forever be connected with the presence of a beloved pet.

Louisa - by the talented Lora Vertue

Louisa – by the talented Lora Vertue

I don’t often see the ‘empty window’ of blogging or perhaps I just choose to look away. And then sometimes, despite your best efforts, you can’t look away. Like when Four Year Old spreads his wonderful little fingers all over your cheek and then directs your face toward the TV set so you don’t miss out on a bonding opportunity with him over Rescue Bots. Or when a friend walks away from  blogging.

Blogging – same as kids, mind you – doesn’t come with an instruction manual or a even a contract. Unless you have blogging friends who like to talk about blogging with IRL people (?), you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. You don’t realize your creative outlet/cry for support-attention-validation comes with such an overpowering commentshare bureaucracy.

This is where I get apologetic, yet defend the use of the term “bureaucracy”. Yes, using “bureaucracy” in relation to commentshare feels awkward at best, maybe even a little wrong. After all, bureaucracy paints your thoughts in grey and brings about a sense of monotony, boredom and emotional detachment which is the very opposite of creativity, human connection and everything I found blogging to be about, but I’ll still use this term loosely in reference to the abundance of tasks outside the creative realm that come hand in hand with our hobby of choice.

So how come we’re all about work-life balance when it comes to work, but immerse ourselves so deeply and readily into a “hobby” which often deprives us of (more) sleep, reading, exercising, IRL socializing and sometimes EVEN our favourite Netflix shows? Wouldn’t we be bitter and resentful if our job did that? Why do we do this to ourselves? Especially those of us who already have sleep taken away from them and feel as though they spend significant amounts of time putting the needs of others first?

Maybe it’s precisely that. How often do you get a cheerleading squad when you manage to put out the sibling rivalry fire while simultaneously wiping milk off the floor and literally convincing someone to not cry over it? How often do you get that immediate fix of support? I know. This is what your real life friends are for, but there is something very powerful about the immediacy, succinctness and the sheer numbers of reactions you get on a given post. I won’t argue that this is not addictive.

But who are the real blogging casualties? Is it us bloggers, particularly the mommy blogger group, who chose the support and the gratification of rediscovering yourself behind the words as a way of reconnecting with self, or is it our families?

I thought of a terrible paraphrase to a famous sentence:

Behind every aspiring blogger stands a resentful husband and kids who don’t always get your full undivided attention.

Told you it was awful. But then I thought about it longer and harder. Would it be better if I bottled up this desire to write and interact? Certainly not. You know the cliché, let’s say it together: ain’t mama happy, ain’t nobody happy. Should we still aspire to do better by our husbands and kids? Absolutely. Don’t pick up that cell phone the next time you’re with your kids and it beeps with the promise of a new comment. A new fix. You know that I’m full on autosuggesting here, right? Indulge me. Choose a mantra to recite to yourself over and over, something like “the comment will stay there, but I won’t get this moment back”.

A funny thing happened on my way to write this post. I thought I was going to lament blogosphere and real life loss but instead the post turned sappy on me.

***

Has blogging affected your family life and are you considering introducing some changes?

 

This post is an FTSF post on the topic: “A funny thing happened on my way…”. Please visitour hosts, the terrifically awesome :

Stephanie at Mommy, For Real

Kristi at Finding Ninee

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?

Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic

 

 

72 thoughts on “The Blogging Casualties

  1. Said perfectly Katia and seriously my husband still sometimes bitches about my blogging at times (less then in the past, because I am trying to give a bit), too, but the connection and how we all do support each other really does keep me coming back daily and craving more!

  2. The Waiting says:

    I think about this same thing so much, and it bothers me sometimes that my husband actually has a term for when I’m wrapped up in writing and reading and answering comments. I get the bloggy eyes and when I glaze over I’m pretty close to being gone. But if I walked away from writing, I’d lose my mind and a little piece of myself too. We’ll find that happy medium at some point. Maybe I’ll just grow a second set of eyes so I can do it all😉

  3. Jen says:

    Oh my friend, you said it for those of us who know, didn’t you. And yet we are all right there together, suffering through the same thing. I chose not to do FTSF today for this exact reason. I need a break from the quid pro quo. I have to be okay with not getting elevated stats on a Friday. I am commenting on this post while my son keeps saying “mommy look! as we watch Shaun the Sheep” And now it’s over and I feel like a bad mommy. So we’ll talk again.

    • Katia says:

      That scene with Isaiah that you’re describing here? So familiar. You totally did the right thing with scaling down a bit. Do you know that your sentence about “am I really going to regret not commenting more on my deathbed?” just stayed with me and it’s become sort of a mantra I try to remind myself of as often as possible? It was so perfectly put. Never feel like you have to comment on my posts. Feel free to just read them, or not. Our bond is beyond that.

  4. Brian says:

    I’ve found blogging tends to be like karate, according to Mr. Miyagi: Either you blogging do “yes,” or blogging do “no.” You blogging do “guess so,” get squished like grape.

    I can’t seem to commit the time and emotional/intellectual investment that are required to keep a strong network of online friends. I post stuff on my silly little blog very sporadically, and I sometimes read what others are writing, and I sometimes comment. But I don’t keep up with it like I should, and this usually leads to my ignoring it completely for weeks or months at a time. If I could do it as a full time occupation, I’m sure I’d succeed, but there’s too much else going on in my life.

    • Katia says:

      I love the way you go about the whole blogging thing, Brian. You didn’t let it enslave you and I find that inspiring. I’m pretty sure that yours is the healthiest possible approach to this.

      • Brian says:

        Well, you’re too kind, Katia. My approach might be healthy, but it’s not very successful. I often wish I had your level of commitment, of persistence.

      • Katia says:

        You’re successful at life which is far more important than high stats on your blog (which I am not claiming to have…).

  5. Yes, Yes, Yes… and YES! This post is so on the nail, Katia! My kids and husband see my blog as the monster who drags me away from more “exciting” stuff like watching tv together… I see it as an opportunity to communicate, to escape, and to create with like-minded people across the globe. It’s rewarding, and yes, I still get a buzz out of new comments nearly two years after I wrote my first post🙂

    • Katia says:

      Yes, you’ve pointed out some things that I meant to mention in the post and didn’t. The escape – definitely, the gratification of bonding with like-minded people – absolutely. It’s good to know, though, that the buzz didn’t wear off for you even after close to two years!🙂

  6. Dana says:

    Yes,yes,yes. My kids will tell you I am always at my computer. They come home for school and don’t need me constantly, so I can either hover or do something. The problem is I don’t always stop when I should. I’m trying. I didn’t post today because my SITS day wore me out. I posted twice this week, that will have to be good enough. I don’t want to be just a good enough mother though. I want to be better.

    • Katia says:

      Yes! I can only imagine how much easier it is to justify this to yourself when your kids are not toddlers and preschoolers and don’t have that constant need. Good for you, though, for working on being better AND realizing that it’s OK to not post from time to time.

  7. Karen says:

    For me, it’s not the writing or replying to comments on my own posts that’s so time consuming but reading and commenting on other blogs. I want to be supportive of everyone and feel like part of the blogging community but I had to cut it back to maybe 10 blogs that I read and comment on regularly. I work from home and I have specific times dedicated to being on the computer and my kids understand that. It’s when I started using blog reading as a way to procrastinate that I knew it was too much.

    • Katia says:

      Precisely. That’s what I was referring to. I should probably have clarified that better. And while I love reading the posts of others – the glimpse into someone else’s world who is totally different and at the same time so similar – I never realized how time consuming this whole blogging business was going to be.

  8. Well written Katia. I’ve stepped a way a bit, more for myself than for my family. Trying to keep up had me wound too tight. But I do think Christopher has gotten to the point that he doesn’t like to see me online. He will suggest a million other things I can do. I try to narrow my time online to when he isn’t here or is asleep or otherwise occupied. Just so happens that this is the fourth day of no school so he’s endured watching me be online. At one point yesterday I felt bad. I really didn’t want to go play in the snow, but I did. I made it fun, made it a wonderful memory that I hope overshadows me being online.

    • Katia says:

      Sometimes being online (and by sometimes I mean after spending more than 2 consecutive days at home alone with kids of a certain age) is essential for your mental health. I’m being serious. I had a bit of a meltdown after 5 weeks (YES) of home alone with a toddler who wants to head-dive from the sofa and talking to my blogging friends is what, pretty much, kept me sane.

      That’s awesome that you treated Christopher to some fun in the snow with you!

      And on a totally non-related note, I loved your #WhoAreYouWearingMom tweet!🙂

  9. Haha thankfully Blogging hasn’t affected anythign in my life but I’m fortunate I work a full time job and can “multitask” between my work duties and blog duties so by the time I arrive home, it’s family time🙂 Only on Saturday mornings and some Sunday nights is there overlap but my bf plays his PC games and by that point my son is with his father so he’s out of my hair so to speak; so it’s a win-win😛 Great post Katia and Happy Friday! -Iva

    • Katia says:

      See, you are part of that support that I’m talking about which makes blogging so irresistible. I’m so glad it hasn’t affected you in the same way it did me. It’s sounds like you’re able to enjoy all worlds and be present in each one of them. That’s wonderful, Iva.

  10. Linda Roy says:

    So well said Katia. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I often feel like I’m on a hamster wheel trying to catch up. I spend an inordinate amount of time blogging and yet I don’t read and comment on as many blogs as I’d like. Simply not enough time in the day. It’s a full time job. And at the same time, my 7yo son said to me last week “You work all the time”, well… guilt. And remorse. Thank you for this reminder that we all struggle with the same conundrum and for the mantra that I’m going to print out and hang on my mirror as a constant reminder: “the comment will stay there, but I won’t get this moment back”. SO true and SO important!

    • Katia says:

      I need to listen to myself more. I’m going to try this mantra out this week too. It’s almost an itch I get to pick up the cell phone an just quickly check the comment, but our kids notice. And the hamster wheel analogy? Perfect.

  11. Hmmmm. You are stating very frankly what I find hard to admit sometimes. What you write, however, could not be more true. It is addictive on a level and there are moments when my husband and children resent how much time a spend blogging. The best thing I have found to keep some balance is only posting one time a week. Sometimes I go for two and become too immersed in the blogging world for my own comfort level. I spend more time than I intended trying to pimp it out my own posts and connecting with others who have posted.

    • Katia says:

      Thank you so much, Lisa. I’m both glad and sad that it resonated with you. I think you’re on to something with the one post a week. I should probably strive for that too. I agree that once you passed a certain threshold (more than one post, for example) you literally get sucked in.

  12. Sandy Ramsey says:

    This post is going to really hit home with a ton of people. I know it did me. I actually tip in the opposite direction. I take the time off of the blog to do the real life things. BUT, I feel guilty that I’m not on every single day…posting, commenting, supporting. I do but I do it in great bursts. Like this morning, I am catching up on tons of posts, commenting, editing photos, scheduling posts……catching up while the kids are at school. I feel if I’m not connected every single day, I’m missing out on something but this is just the way I have to do it.

    When I started this, I had no idea what was in store, the time it takes. But I love it and I will continue to do what works for me so I can keep doing it. Am I doing it right? Who knows. For now it’s working fine the way it is and when it doesn’t, I’ll adjust.

    • Katia says:

      It’s only a matter of whether you’re doing this right for you and your family and it sounds like you are. I constantly feel guilty for not responding quickly enough when my blogging friends post, for not sharing as much as I should and then when I do I feel guilty toward my kids and husband. A dear friend I’ve met through blogging said something very wise to me when she decided to scale down on her blogging-related activity “am I going to regret not commenting more on blogs on my deathbed?”. I think we all know the answer to that🙂

  13. Amen!! I love this because you put into very eloquent words what I feel so very often. I KNOW that blogging is “just a hobby” and do feel guilty when it takes me away from my kids and or my husband. But, there is this addictiveness about the connections and the numbers and chasing that elusive “viral” post. My family is generally supportive, but there are times I know they feel I’m putting blogging first. One of my blogging goals for this year was to reign it in a bit and stop letting it take over my life. I’m trying, but it’s hard.

    Anyway, suffice it to say, I completely agree with you and appreciate you putting it into words like this.

    • Katia says:

      It doesn’t really feel like “just a hobby”, though. EVER. I wrote about it in my comment to Kristi, but I’ve never actually until now in this post, referred to blogging as a hobby, which is kind of ridiculous…

  14. Sarah says:

    So beautiful! Perfect!

  15. Quickstepp says:

    I went through my maniacal phase. I had to post everyday. I looked at my stats constantly. I felt the need to engage, comment, and read everything from those I was following. And then I sat back and thought, what do I really want out of this? I still don’t completely know. I can say that I love writing for writing’s sake. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it till I started writing again. I love the community of online buddies I’ve made. It’s crazy how much you look forward to interacting with people you’ve never met. I feel like I know more about them than some of my IRL friends! But will I write a novel? *shrug* Do I want to be a huge blog? I don’t know. I’m still dedicated, but I’m glad that, like you, I can acknowledge when I’m being a bit obsessive and back off some!

    • Katia says:

      Oh, the maniacal phase, yes! So well put. Yes, I did go through a phase like that. I hope I am past it, but I still at times feel completely overwhelmed. I do love your very reasonable outlook on this.

  16. Been thinking about this since reading it this morning. I haven’t quite put my finger on it, but I think the idea of being honest with yourself (even if not with anyone else) WHY you are blogging (and when I say “you” I mean “me”), is the key. Thank you for writing this.

  17. Nina Badzin says:

    Yes to everything you said and to all the comments too. One thing that has helped me (though I’m by NO means balanced) is only posting once a week. I’m not winning any stats of the year contests–or any contests for that matter. But I feel I’m still “in the game” of writing (which I care most about) and I feel less overwhelmed. Since I only post once a week, I guess I feel less obliged to try to keep up with 3/week or more posts from even my favorite bloggers. I’ve noticed some of my blogging buddies have started posting every day. I think that’s an awesome habit, but I for sure can’t commit to reading more than a post a week from the bloggers I read. I hope that doesn’t sound too formulaic. Even with that 1/week in mind, I have TONS of blogs I read each week. I don’t do it out of obligation. I do it because I love the community aspect of blogging. All that said, I could probably write a lot more if I read less blogs. I’ve heard a few blogging friends admit that they never read blogs. It felt kind of icky to me–very one-sided. And still, I sort of envied all her free time! (But karma?)

    • Katia says:

      I LOVE the way you finished this comment with the reference to karma. Yes, totally bad karma. I also really enjoy reading other blogs and discovering thoughts that resonate with me so much, similarities, differences, I often implement with my kids stuff that I learned from other blogs, so from a lot of perspectives this is s totally positive experience. I may try your suggestion of once a week.

  18. I’m speechless. One of my favorite posts you’ve ever written. (Cough, VOTY) This sentence made me nod, cringe, and almost cry, “But who are the real blogging casualties? Is it us bloggers, particularly the mommy blogger group, who chose the support and the gratification of rediscovering yourself behind the words as a way of reconnecting with self, or is it our families?” And then you hit us with THIS: “Behind every aspiring blogger stands a resentful husband and kids who don’t always get your full undivided attention.” Obviously, you know how much that line resonated with me, right? I need to read this over and over. I really appreciate your mantra, “The comment (tweet/Google+convo/FB reply/email) will still be there. This moment won’t.” I am reading Hands-Free Mama right now- it’s sinking in. This post really hit home. I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

    • Katia says:

      I was thinking of you a lot writing this, because I know we share some of the same challenges. I was sticking to my mantra all day yesterday. Today too, so far. Now Four Year Old is watching a movie and it’s one of those times he is not asking for my feedback so I’m taking the opportunity,but I am going to hold myself more accountable now that I wrote this post. I don’t want to violate it and feel like a total hypocrite.

      Finally, I love you🙂

  19. Katia. You are brilliant and amazing. Seriously. The balance. Well there is no balance. I love that you remind us that the comment will be there but that the moment will not. This is amazingly written, my friend. Seriously incredible. Why is it that blogging doesn’t FEEL like a hobby? Why does it feel so important? I think you’re onto something with the cheerleading aspect and the amazing friends that support us and the real relationships that develop from it.
    I❤ you.
    There are days when I've actually paid a babysitter to have time to catch up on blogging. Which means I'm paying to have this hobby.

    • Katia says:

      Oh, Kristi, thank you so much for talking so openly about your experience, I’ve totally done the same and paid a sitter to make time for commentsharewrite!!! But seeing it put that way made me actually laugh out loud. I don’t think I realized that that’s what I was doing – paying someone for my “hobby”!

      And, yes, such a terrific observation about it feeling so much BIGGER than a hobby. I feel exactly the same way. I never actually think about it as a hobby. Before writing this post, I’ve never used that word in reference to blogging. I’m not sure what it is to me, but probably a little bit of everything: a method of connecting with myself, a method of connecting with you and my other friends, a method of maintaining my sanity – which makes it totally worth paying a sitter for…🙂

  20. Sarah says:

    First of all, ohhhh yes on missing that puppy who used to always be so excited when you got home…… Gorgeous pup. And that part is very new to me know, getting used to this silent house.

    But oh yes yes yes on the blogging and family… I think it is soooo hard for us mommy bloggers. For me, the cognitive dissonance of neglecting my children to write about mindful parenting is just glaring and uncomfortable at times! I just read a post from a blogger friend yesterday that she is shutting off the comments on her blog – too much emotionality to always see the comments, to need to feel validated by them…. but it’s also so much a part of blogging and building a community of readers that it’s hard to not do that.
    Lots of goodness in here, friend.

    • Katia says:

      I know, my dear, I was thinking of you and Leo when I was writing this and how hard it must have been for you this week.

      I totally get the cognitive dissonance of neglecting the kids to write about mindful parenting. Completely get it. This is brilliantly put, though, maybe you should do a post on this!

  21. Kim says:

    It’s only my husband and I but there have been at least a couple times where I neglected him to focus on my blog. I get myself wrapped up in mundane stuff that has no real effect on my daily life and then wonder why I don’t have much of a life. Hmm. It’s hard to step away from the blog at times but I attribute that to the fact I have made so many wonderful friends online who make me laugh and inspire me to be a better person. It’s a fine line to walk but it can be done.

    • Katia says:

      Agreed, the friendships, the unconditional support you get from them, the understanding of what it means to be a part of this blogging world that we like to call “blogosphere”, that is something no one else outside of this world understands.

  22. This question comes at an interesting time for me. With my guys somewhat grown and flown my time is now so much more my own. Would I have blogged when they were full on little? I didn’t. BUT – it was really something that I didn’t think about 20 years ago. Yes, I used to write copious letters to my far away pals detailing the minutiae of my life so perhaps that is similar?
    Just this morning when I was reading and catching up on others’ blogs my daughter texted. She needed help organising a flight. Have to say it was so tempting to ignore the text and to “just read one more…” I stopped and helped her but it was hard.

    • Katia says:

      Yes, I think it’s a catch 22 doing this with little kids. On one hand, it is obviously not the ideal timing for this, on the other it’s such a sanity restorer sometimes, that you I almost feel like I should have started doing it a while ago when Four Year Old was a lot younger…

  23. Lizzi R says:

    Ohhhhhhh the EPIC silver linings. Thank you for this post.

    I read it from rather another perspective of being so GRATEFUL that all I lose is sleep. And that I get a job where I can check comments in between patients or on lunch break, with absolute impunity. And thorough enjoyment.

    And if I lose sleep, so what?

    It is poignant though. And I look at my grubby house and my husband whose name I can *probably* still remember, and think that perhaps you do have *some* kind of point there for me😉

    • Katia says:

      😀 The husband whose name you can *probably* remember, I love it! If you ever forget it, reach out to me, I have a sick memory for names and faces. I’ll remind you…

      I’m so glad your job offers that flexibility. I think that’s the only way a job and blogging can peacefully coexist. As for the husband, I know he is very tolerant, as is mine, but make sure to check in from time to time. I wasn’t aware my husband was boiling up inside until it became very clear.

      • Lizzi R says:

        As much as I spend my time plugged into the Blogosphere, he spends time plugged into his ManDollies. But I’ll heed your warning. Thank you🙂

  24. Natalie DeYoung says:

    I’ve had to deal with this, definitely. After a while, my husband was getting sad because I wasn’t spending time with him, so now I try to budget my time a little better and, like you said, wait. The comment will wait, the moment won’t. Lovely reflection, Katia. Well, and funny, too, which is the best combination.🙂

  25. Shannon says:

    Wow! While I do get what you are saying that was a pretty bleak post! I think blogging makes me a better person because it allows me to collect my thoughts and get/share wisdom with fellow bloggers. Like anything, it is only good in moderation, and I will admit I can get consumed since it does take a lot of time to run the FB page and twitter and catch up on my reading not to mention actually working on my posts. But, there is also fun in it too. For example, when I am scared because I am doing something new I am reassured because whether I succeed or fail, at least it will give me something to blog about🙂

    • Katia says:

      Thanks so much for your sincere comment.I totally get how this post would come across as such, however I promise you, it does by no means my full gamut of emotions towards blogging. This post was provoked by a sad occurrence, the “resignation” of a blogging friend and it simply talks of one aspect of blogging, that which prompted my friend to leave.

      A couple of weeks ago I was a guest speaker to new immigrants as part of a “motivational club” initiative. I talked about how writing and blogging in particular helped me overcome my sense of removal from myself, brought about by immigrating seven years ago and then becoming a mom. I read them this post, which I feel perfectly reflects why I am grateful to blogging. https://iamthemilk.wordpress.com/2013/05/23/closest-to-me/

      Finally, I completely agree with the statement regarding moderation, but I found it hard to implement. I started blogging almost a year and a half ago and spent a year doing this with at least one kid at home with me all day, which meant putting blogging off to whenever baby was napping and then doing it in the evening when the kids went to bed, so it’s not done at their expense. What that meant, however is that if I wait to do it in the evening, it’s then done at the expense of my husband. If you have any tips on better time allocation, or can share your own experience I’d love to hear about it. I’m constantly seeking balance and so far failed to find it.

  26. Wow – you sort of took the words I didn’t know I was thinking write out of my head. I just started this whole blogging thing because it looked fun. I’ve been reading blogs for years (and secretly writing them but never posting), and finally I figured I should jump in. I had no idea what a commitment it is and the amount of energy and time it takes just to keep it relevant. I do, however, love the outlet and the ability to express myself freely. Hardly anyone I actually *know* reads it, and I’ve made some great online friends. That being said, I’ve never been more addicted to my phone. I’m considering taking my email off so that I won’t be distracted.

    This is such an excellent post. Thank you for sharing.

    • Katia says:

      Thank you so much for saying this. I often feel this way about blog posts I read, as thought someone took out of my mind what only existed there as this undefined mush (the mush is in my head, talking about myself here, not you🙂 ). I’m grateful that you would feel that way about one of my post.

      Yes, exactly, I didn’t realize the level of commitment it required either. And just like you, I was NEVER attached to my cell phone, until I discovered how much quicker it is for “staying in the loop” purposes. I think it’s so wise taking the email off. I might try that too.

  27. I just told my daughter that we can’t go out to lunch and do our devotional because I had blog work to do…. and here I am reading this? Pierces me hard here Katia. SO well said. the push and pressure of ‘reciprocating’ and ‘supporting’ our dear blogging friends is a priority I sometimes, well- OFTEN put before my family.

    Is it worth it? I believe so in some ways- only in some. So that I must weigh very carefully.

    Balance is key. Sometimes I got it, sometimes I don’t.

    Thank you for your wise wise words on this topic that EVERY blogger gets.

    • Katia says:

      Thank you so much, Christine. We don’t interact often but whenever we do I am struck by your kindness. I am sure you’re the last person who needs reminders on prioritizing your family. I know you’re already putting them first. I’m sure the post just caught you on a day when the balance tilted towards blogging. But thank you so much, nevertheless, for your kind kind soul🙂

  28. bethteliho says:

    I loved so many things about this, Katia. I often feel the same way about my connection with others through the blogosphere, and the price you pay for it with your time. Balance is hard, and takes deliberate intent.

    I’m in a constant state of of that balancing act!

  29. iyaya10 says:

    Been in the blogging game since June, and I absolutely side with your case. My family certainly feels rejected at times, however, there are many times that I feel rejected as well, like when “certain others” in my house forget everyday what a dishwasher is or where a laundry basket resides. So, Why is it a problem when us writers (us mothers) have a burning (throbbing) desire to tell a story because if we don’t, we will burst or dissolve into nothing. Why can’t we use our talents and our dreams even if they sometimes fall priority over clean socks. Writing is therapy and whether you are laughing with your reader or crying….it’s just something we HAvE to do, we owe it to ourselves

  30. My husband has never been fond of my blogging. He thinks it is a waste of my time. If he know that I am spending time commenting on other blogs he’d really think I nuts. I’ve never been sure why I like it so much. Maybe you are right it is the instant gratification. I did make a resolution to try to listen to him more. It isn’t that hard to set my kindle down for a few minutes.

    • Katia says:

      It’s good to make those resolutions. We sometimes need the reminder of what it feels like to them, although I do feel that a lot of times they tend to judge us too harshly.

  31. britta326 says:

    You bring up some good points in this post. At times, my husband gets annoyed with my writing/blogging, and at times I feel Mommy guilt when my baby is tugging at my leg and looking up with me with pleading eyes that say, “Please play with me.”

    Yet still I have a need and desire to write. I am in the process of finding a comfortable balance where I blog at nap times and on designated nights after bedtimes, but I’ve also purposefully done some editing and jotted down notes while explaining to my three-year-old that I am working. I am also trying to help my husband understand my passion for writing, and the more we talk the more on board he is becoming.

    I’m a full-time stay-at-home-Mom to two right now, but eventually I will want to reenter the professional world. For me, blogging started six months after I had my first baby and continues to be an important part of my parenting and writing journey.

    Like so many other Moms, I think blogging is a way to continue some form of self-expression with others when we are not wiping sticky fingers and changing diapers.

    Thanks for the read.

    • Katia says:

      I couldn’t have said it better myself. I think that doing anything as a means of connecting (or should I say reconnecting) with yourself when you’re a full time stay at home mom is essential. Thank you so much for adding your very valuable perspective.

  32. Beth and the Biscuit says:

    ooooo….I’m so with ya’ll on this. Even as I’m creatively writing this clever reply, I can hear the dishes banging in the sink, and the hoe hammering the garden sod. All from one person, mind you. How communication and creativity has evolved in the past 20 years of personal computing. What in the world did people DO before online friendships and web logging every recipe?!! Thanks so much. I’m new to your blog. I’m an old(er), step mom for a person who’s long married and living in a different country, but still there is THAT OTHER ONE – the one that can show displeasure in more than one room at a time while moving around the outside too. amazing.

    • Katia says:

      My mom and I live in different countries, so among other feelings,I’m touched reading your truly clever comment.

      Online friendships, especially during my second extended maternity leave are crucial to my sanity. I love that friendship has taken on that form and that we can expand our grasp of what a friendship constitutes.

      I really look forward to chatting more with you and thanks so much for reading my blog and commenting!

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