I Wrote a Review About Medieval Times and Made it all About Myself. And Moms. And The Bachelor.

42

May 12, 2014 by Katia

 

FUN FACT: X number of years ago when I was but a young Masters degree student at the Tel-Aviv University I majored in Art History, specifically Medieval Art. REALLY FUN FACT: I wrote my thesis about the sculptural program of a Romanesque church in southern France. it was called St. Maurice De Vienne. Hashtag truestory.

I think we can all agree that I’ve established my credibility as a Medieval Times reviewer. Let us proceed.

You may have read my previous post about being a boy mom. One of the unmentioned benefits to that status is the ability to get vicariously excited about all things knights, trucks, loud and grossed* which is great because one of the other side effects of parenting in the early years is a very limited array of non-vicarious excitement opportunities. You can imagine my vicarious AND non-vicarious excitement when I opened my blog’s mailbox and found an email from Medieval Times.

*Insert medieval trumpets*

(note to self: Don’t forget to Google “is medieval trumpets a thing?”)

From the get go the customer service at MT was impeccable. They had offered us a choice of dates and were happy to accommodate my request to do this on my son’s fifth birthday. We wanted to surprise him and kept our invitation to participate in a dinner and tournament as a secret and as the date was approaching my vicarious excitement was growing. When our modern day chariot entered the grounds of the royal castle a magical thing happened and excitement excitement took over.

From the moment you enter those gates, you (yes, I’m talking to you, Mrs. No Fair Why Did You Give Me Healthy Food Again When I Asked For Non Healthy And Why Do You Care so Much About Health And Not Getting Hurt Or Killed Or Deadness) are referred to as My Lady and let me tell you this, My Lady, Medieval Times is full of people who don’t break character. Thank ye so much royalty, shoppe keepers, maidens, wenches and servers for creating an atmosphere and caring about authenticity and your guests’ experience. Medieval Times even catered to one of my biggest pet peeves, places that “break character”. Moms, do you know did you use to know that really cool restaurant with modern and edgy design and an endless parade of hipsters flocking its doors? Is it so hard for the restaurant owners to show their washrooms some love? Do they HAVE to look like some dodgy dorm room you should avoid at all costs?

Behold.

This is the way we dry our hands.

During the hour before the beginning of the show there’s plenty of opportunity to shop, enjoy a pre-show show (knighting ceremonies where for a few golden coins you can get yourself knighted and photographed with the King) or just hang out with the horses.

So we had our son knighted, because duh. My son is the hello-stranger-on-the-street-I’ve-never-met-before-in-my-life-I-love-you-and-want-to-talk-to-you-and-tell-you-all-about-my-day-and-life-and-dog-that-passed-away-last-year type. I was worried he may not leave the stage once his knighting ceremony was over, however instead he went completely mute in awe of the magnitude of the event and only occasionally nodded to the crowning King. Mostly not at the right time.

History in the making. My son is speechless, oh, and being knighted too.

To bestow the spirit of tournament upon us when dinner was about to begin we were called to our sitting areas around the arena according to the colour of our crown. Oh yeah, we were wearing crowns, check us out.

Ecstatic as I was to begin the journey, I almost joined the wrong group. Luckily my knight in shining armor was there being embarrassed for me, himself and our son so he stopped me in time.

Ooooooh!

Enter great big huge arena, front row seats at tables fully set up for dinner and merry servers and wenches to guide us through the experience. Now when was the last time someone served you dinner, moms? Better yet, when did someone encourage you to BOO at the top of your lungs? When did you enjoy tomato bisque while a horse danced in front of you? Doesn’t happen every day, amiright?

The show part consists of a short parade, followed by the tournament, a falconer performing tricks with his bird of prey and at the very end you will even witness battles between the knights. Motherhood is full of surprises. The fact that my son and husband loved all of the above wasn’t one of them, but I realized that I’m surprisingly into horses, falcons and knightly tournaments, and OMG, ladies, wait till you hear this.

Who here watches The Bachelor? The last thing I was expecting was to participate in a rose ceremony at Medieval Times and I didn’t, but what do ye know. Ladies. There’s some handing out of roses that occurs and you may or may NOT get one, just sayin’. That being said, dear Red and Yellow Knight, is it because I’m married? Is it because I brought my husband and kid, was it too much too soon?

He wasn’t expecting to feel so much so soon on this journey.

I didn’t get a rose, but I got so much more than that. These were three of the best hours I’ve spent in a while being wined, dined, entertained, encouraged to boo all the while watching my husband and son having the time of their lives. The show rubbed off on them, as you can see.

Sword fight with lightsabers and flags.

 

And as for me, I may not have a rose, but I still have my dignity. And I can’t wait to come back in three years to celebrate 21 Month Old’s fifth. Just sayin’, Red and Yellow Knight, just sayin’.

This is how you do dignified limo, ladies.

For more details please visit Medieval Times Toronto’s website.

* Grossed = Five Year Old’s way of saying gross.

*** AND NOW: (INSERT MEDIEVAL TRUMPETS) IT’S GIVEAWAY TIME!!!! ***

Leave a quick comment letting me know why do you look forward to this experience. Make if funny or touching! You’ve got 48 hours until I announce the winner on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/IamthemilkBlogFriendsAndReaders and Twitter: @KatiaDBE

I’ve decided to make this Review Week since I’ve got a few of them lined up. I hardly agree to do any reviews, since I don’t want the blog to change its focus, but when I do agree these are products/services/venues that I wholeheartedly stand behind and recommend. You can join me again this week for more reviews or come back on Friday for a regular post.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Advertisement