5 Easy Steps to Surviving a Breakup from your Favourite TV Show

25

June 26, 2014 by Katia

Hey, girlfriend. Did you break up with a show recently?

I know. Breakups are ugly.They’re full of empty Haagen Dasz cartons, revenge haircuts and voodooed photographs. But let’s be honest here, this is different. It had ‘Doom’ written all over it in Scary Vampire font. Unlike most other relationships in your life this one came with an expiration date, a timeline – S.3 episode 22, it read.

keep-calm

So what do you do when your current Netflix obsession runs out of new episodes, there’s no new season in sight, you’ve cut your hair, lost ten pounds and still no call? Here are some suggestions to help you regain control over the situation.

breakup

1. Prevention: Eliminate the Element of Surprise – Taking on a new show is the equivalent of embarking on an intense relationship with a guy who’s about to go backpacking with no return ticket. Memorize his departure date. We’re trying to avoid that terrifying moment, when instead of the anticipated season 3: episode 23, your screen greets you with a season 1: episode 1.

2. Entertain Shadowing – and I use ‘shadowing’ as a Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin kind of euphemism for ‘cheat’. You know how most workplaces won’t wait until the employee they’re replacing leaves before they bring in the replacement? See where I’m going with this? Pretty Little Liars would be the quick learner you’re looking for when your Gossip Girl relationship is about to expire.

3. Rebound (As In a Verb) – This is your chance to experiment! Choose something totally different, consider substituting Downton Abbey with Weeds. Vice versa works too.

4. Be Zen About it. Go on a Cleanse – don’t plunge into your next relationship too quickly. Take a breather, meditate, the answer will come to you when you least expect it.

5. Binge – The man I’m currently in an open TV viewing Netflix relationship with, Chuck Bass, once suggested when breaking up with Blair for the eleventieth time, that they get over each other by, well, banging binging. Binge on your favourite show and you’ll see how pretty soon it’ll be like that word your toddler repeats over and over and over again until it stops making sense.

6. Remember Help is Here – You’re surrounded by people in various stages of Netflix show addictions. They get it. Reach out.

25 thoughts on “5 Easy Steps to Surviving a Breakup from your Favourite TV Show

  1. Jennie Saia says:

    When Game of Thrones just ended their season, one of my friends openly wept. I am not exaggerating – she was that bereft.

    TV sucks you in like almost nothing else. Shadowing, though… now there’s an idea!

  2. Dana says:

    I’ll come back to this post when True Blood ends for good in September – where will I ever find another show to take its place? I’m already planning my breakup mix tape. A girls’ gotta mourn.

  3. Peyton Price says:

    This is an important public service. It should be a TED talk, really.

  4. lalisham06 says:

    yeah mine hurtted really bad

  5. bethteliho says:

    I think you read my mind. GoT just ended….*sniffle*
    I’m totally binging. That’s how I roll.

  6. ponymartini says:

    I felt this way with Breaking Bad. I discovered it on Netflix, and loved every moment of it. I did shadow with Once Upon a Time (it’s like dating the bad girl and sleeping with the girl next door on the side), and have since moved on after our uncoupling to Doctor Who, the true love of my life. At least I can still expect new episodes of that!

    • Katia says:

      This is brilliant. Yes, cheating on Breaking Bad with Once Upon a Time TOTALLY is like sleeping with the girl next door. I’ve hate watched all of it (OUAT, that is). Have yet to watch Doctor Who.

  7. anolivedaily says:

    I’m all about the rebound! It’s the age-old saying: “Don’t cry because Breaking Bad is over, smile because Orange is the New Black exists” … or something like that.

  8. lalisham06 says:

    you sure it works i’ll try it if dose thanks for it.

  9. Am currently on a three day juice cleanse … This post could not be more timely!

  10. Oh no. I can’t even. So many past Netflix relationships. It’s the hardknock life.

    But the only thing I’m truly a fan of is Doctor Who and you can always count on that – I think it’s even on Netflix now!

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