I Made Mom Cry

21

August 29, 2014 by Katia

Yesterday I made my mom cry.

mom-cry

My little brother and I were in the bath and we were having so much fun, you know, splashing water and emptying water buckets on the floor. And then I thought of a really cool game, really, it was the COOLEST game. I found a ball and I was throwing it at the shampoo bottle on the counter behind my mom’s head and just like throwing it and throwing it and going “hiiii-ya!” and I think my mom said “stop, Ben!” but I was just dying to play that game!!! My baby brother, Daniel, liked it too. Every time I threw the ball, he would go *squeak* and clap. I didn’t think it would make my mommy cry, but then she took a towel and covered her face and I laughed because I thought she was being, you know, kind of crazy? Or just like wanting to play Peekaboo? But she was really crying. I know because I said: “Mom! What are you doing, mom? What are you doing?” and I saw that her shoulders were shaking like a volcano, I mean like an earthquake, and my brother was saying “ok, mama?” and she just like nodded but her shoulders were still moving. So I kind of thought that she was crying but her face was still covered and she couldn’t see me so I just kept, um, throwing the ball. Because it was so much fun. Mom always, I mean usually, she usually tells me to stop doing fun things, so I kept doing it because it was fun. And I wanted to do it. But I said “I know how you feel, mama. Really. You’re frus-tray-ted and you feel like I never listen to you, right mama? You can say that to me if you want to, mama.” And my baby brother kept asking “ok, mama?” – he always says “ok, mama?” when we throw stuff at her by accident — and she was nodding her head and saying “ok, Daniel” and he was still playing his game of splashing water from the bucket. Can I tell you something? One time she said “enough!” but I thought she was joking because her voice sounded SO funny, so I asked her if she’s trying to copy a dog! Then my mom emptied the tub and I was trying to score another round before she tells me to stop, even though I think she said “enough” again and she just like stood by the door to my baby brother’s room and tears were shooting out of her eyes and her face was super red. And then my dad came home and he made this face with his eyebrows like pointing down, and he talked in a serious voice like this “Ben! Look at that! You made mama cry! Mama is crying because of you! Stop what you’re doing!” and he wanted a conversation. And I felt very upset because I thought that my mom and dad will never let me do fun things again, like watch TV, because they think I’ll turn into a TV zombie, or eat too much chocolate because I love eating too much chocolate. I still like my mom but I think that sometimes she’s just impatient and doesn’t want me to have fun. And I told my dad that sometimes I feel like I’m being good and good all the time and it’s too much goodness and I just need to be a little bit naughty. So my dad said “tell mama” and she said “ok, Ben, I understand, but I’m responsible for your safety. So if, you know, you want to be naughty you have to let me know before you start, so I can tell you if it’s okay”. Yesterday after my dad said that, guess what, I was really good and I brought my brother’s milk to him when she was putting him to sleep, and when my mom and I played chess I argued with her a little bit about my soldiers, but then I renembered and I said “maybe you should decide, mom”.

Today I almost forgot again.

Yesterday was a really long time ago.

21 thoughts on “I Made Mom Cry

  1. Yes, my kids made me cry this summer. It started as a hyper, hysterical laughter and then melted into the ugly cry. I tried to hide it from them because even as it was happening, I could see the situation from their point of view and knew it was more about me than them. They’re just being kids but it sometimes feels like they’re ganging up on me. Deep down inside, I know that I must be doing a good job if they trust me enough to know that they can test the limits, endure my anger and still be loved from the tops of their messy heads to the tips of their stinky toes. Grown ups bottle feelings up until we explode but kids let their emotions out at every opportunity. Such little teachers.🙂

    • Katia says:

      I love this comment. It’s perfect and it’s what I needed to hear. I think you’ve told me that once before, but I’m so glad to be reminded. It’s true, the testing is definitely a sign that they are feeling comfortable and safe and what more could you ask for. Hugs.

  2. Liz says:

    Well done! Esp loved the ending. I often forget how time must seem to my 4-yr-old. She actually turns 4 tomorrow and every day she asks me when her birthday is.

    • Katia says:

      Oh my goodness, four! I liked four. For a while.🙂

      Thank you so much, and, yes, I agree, it’s so easy to forget how different their perception of time is!

  3. Kristi Campbell - findingninee says:

    I’m left breathless. Why do we feel so badly when we cry? After all, my son cries all the freaking time and it’s here and gone, and he gets his release. For me, I feel guilty and anxious and it’s always the one thing – like water all OVER the floor to make me lose it. Then, my husband thinks I’m crazy. What he doesn’t see is the full day before that – where Doritos were demanded for breakfast, I had to play shoot sponge bob for 90 minutes, got a ball thrown at my head inside the house… that stuff. Hugs, mama.

    • Katia says:

      You’ve described it so accurately. That’s totally how I felt when my husband arrived. Great. Now my insanity is confirmed. He was very understanding but still, she’s crying over splashed water, huh?

      I heart you for playing shoot sponge bob with Tucker for 90 minutes. You rock.

  4. Yes, my son made me cry. Right after school got out, he was in a phase where he played with liquids: turning on the faucets, playing in the toilet, upending our beverages. After he dumped my glass of water on my laptop, I cried.
    And then he played with my tears.

    • Katia says:

      Oh, water on laptop! Inner bull awakened, charge!

      Yes, I don’t know what it is about water/hot/cold chocolate spillage that pushes my buttons. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s such an illustration of just how sisyphean out tasks are…

  5. Stephanie Sprenger says:

    I love this so much. Commenting and sharing over at HuffPost. xo

  6. Tiffany says:

    This is really beautiful. My little one is only two months old–not quite old enough to try my patient resolve… But your words are an incredible reminder of the wonder of childhood and parenting. Thank you!

  7. Sarah says:

    I just love this. So thoughtful and original to get inside his head like that. Yes, my children have made me cry and made me scream. And at times like that, I hardly even think through their side of the matter. You’re a good mama.

  8. sara says:

    Ah…I am not a crying mama – worse, when I lose it I have been known to throw the offending object across the room, curse loudly and walk out and sit under my favourite tree in the backyard until I can face them again. Sigh. Motherhood has not always brought out the best in me…

  9. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says:

    Yes, my kids make me cry. I love that you did this from his perspective, too. Hugs!

  10. O. M. G. Mine made me cry TODAY!

  11. Roshni says:

    I give in to tears and anger every once in a while, and I feel like my boys are getting desensitized about it; especially the yelling. So, I try to take deep breaths and stay calm and authoritative, but often end up doing goofy and dorky with them…I think they just accept now that I’m not a regular mom!😀

  12. Alma Campos says:

    Hi! I really enjoyed reading your post. I especially liked how you write this, in an innocent tone, as if you are still that little girl, which is what made it so good. I can’t imagine my little one making me cry. She is 11 months, but I know it will happen.😦 But, thanks for the heads up. I will try to be prepared. Ehem…

    • Katia says:

      Thank you! It’s hard to prepare and not necessary in my opinion. Every age has its own special challenges and beauty. Eleven months seems not too long ago yet I can now barely remember it. I do remember looking at children who were probably two years old and seeing giants… I know that this must be what reading a post like this feels like to you. Thank you so much for sticking around and reading and commenting even though it’s not super relatable yet. I appreciate it!🙂

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Tired. Going from 10 months of staying at home with the kids to full time work is disorienting.  I have to redefine what my involvement in their lives looks like. I have to go dig for my creativity, it's not readily available. I have to make room for friendships that were already pushed to the outskirts of my mommy life. What was previously inaccessible, existing in the "so near yet so far" category - books, blazers and heels - became a staple in this old new reality in a matter of days. Tired and disoriented but also content, supported and appreciative. #momsofinstagram #random #randomthoughts #changes #workingmom #tired #tgif
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