Monthly Archives: November 2014

  1. TV’s Top Ten Most Annoying Girlfriends

    17

    November 30, 2014 by Katia

    “Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. They’re born thinkin’ the switch only goes one …
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    Category: Humor, Netflix, Sometimes I'm Funny, TV, Women | Tags: , , , , , ,

  2. If I Had to Write Your Obituary

    31

    November 26, 2014 by Katia

    “Today I lost my great aunt, Dr. Nina Mikhoels, my Ninulya, who helped raise me as though I was her …
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    Category: Feelings, Identity, Loss, Nostalgia, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , ,

  3. The Secret Keepers

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    November 13, 2014 by Katia

    Originally posted on Mended Musings:
    ? I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to ask you to…

    Category: Uncategorized

  4. A Letter to My Kids From Your Newly Working Mom

    57

    November 10, 2014 by Katia

    Dearest boys, Mommy’s hoping to explain something to you, but first she needs to understand it herself, so she’s writing …
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    Category: Identity, Motherhood | Tags: , , ,

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Scary Mommy
The Epistolarians

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What makes a happy new year? This is my story, but I suspect, it might also be yours. Lately I haven't been writing much. Forget writing, I can't even produce an entertaining Facebook update. Why? Because selecting the right words requires an effort and I don't have any effs (for effort) left to give. First I stopped posting to my blog, then my blog's Facebook page and eventually my own Facebook profile. I'm making an effort but I find it draining. Who knew that posting funny updates on your profile is not so easy? Nothing dramatic is going on in my life. Work's been extra busy with some newly added responsibilities and stress, bedtimes are still long-ish and my sleep is still often interrupted, but it's not nearly as often as before. My "me time" is limited and starts late. The emotional energy I invest in my work, the nature of my sleep and the limited time I spend on myself leave me with little energy to spare. Any energy I have left and then some is invested in my kids. My kids, whom you all know I adore and admire, are daring, often reckless and very young and inexperienced. Sometimes I'm surprised at the extent of their lack of caution and I'm always, always disproportionately worried. I know that because I'm unlike the other mothers around me. I come from a family of worriers and anxious people. My neural pathways always lead me to a dead end - literally. I catastrophize and imagine the worst outcome. For years I've been able to rationalize and talk myself out of useless, time consuming and energy wasting internal struggles with often imagined worrisome scenarios, but now that words are burdensome and my energy is dwindled, I can't. I'm entering this new year happier and more optimistic than I've been in awhile. Yesterday I went to see my doctor. After a lot of internal turmoil and thoughts about cancelling my appointment I came in and blurted out: I think I'm suffering from some form of anxiety. His very calm and matter of fact-ish reaction ("like everyone else in the 21st century") wasn't dismissive, but reassuring. Self care sometimes means looking deeper. I wish everyone a happy new year of good mental health. It's the basis for everything.

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