I’ve Created a Toddler


January 6, 2016 by Katia

There comes a time in every toddler’s life when all of their creative energy that’s been building up for what seems like ages channels itself out in one giant two to three hour outpour. Grownups refer to this as “bedtime”.

It’s at times like these when our toddlers reach the peak of their creativity with ideas that extend far beyond the traditional “I’m thirsty/hungry/need to pee” that we examine them in awe thinking “I’ve created a toddler”.

The other day I’d spent a delightful 2 hours and 40 minutes accompanying my toddler in his creative journey. I present to you the minutes that I took during this session in 39 bullet points. Personal comments will be initialed.

created a toddler

  1. Sang the song “shut up that’s right”.
  2. Informed me that he could sing the song “shut up that’s right”
  3. Removed his socks because they were dirty (KB: had a stripe pattern on them).
  4. Wore my slippers and climbed into bed.
  5. Argued that he does need to wear my slippers to bed because his socks are dirty.
  6. Announced he was going to sleep.
  7. Transitioned into a downward dog pose.
  8. Whispered in a tone that prefaces sweet nothings that he wants to eat thomething.
  9. Refused his usual choice of sliced cheese and agreed to his mom’s suggestion to have some strawberries instead.
  10. Started assembling a Caillou puzzle upon return.
  11. Seemed surprised and slightly offended by the presence of a strawberry bowl in his room.
  12. Asked for sliced cheese.
  13. Ran into his brother’s room and shouted that he was going to sleep.
  14. Reiterated his intention to go to sleep when back in his room and to demonstrate its seriousness he asked the puzzling question “how long should it take?” To clarify that the question wasn’t rhetorical he responded with his own suggestion of “40 minutes”.
  15. To prove a point he counted to 20 adding the number 11 at the end.
  16. Talked about the time he blew a raspberry at nursery school and asked if his mom (who doesn’t attend nursery school) remembers.
  17. Complained that when he closes his eyes it’s too dark.
  18. Defiantly declared that he was going to do the Caillou puzzle.
  19. Tantrumed when he wasn’t allowed to.
  20. Got totally distracted by his mom’s story about a talking squirrel she’d met on her way to work questioning only the part where the squirrel called her “mama”.
  21. Tried to walk on the wall while tucking his foot under his Paw Patrol poster.
  22. Provocatively wondered aloud who might be responsible for the large missing part at the bottom right corner of his Paw Patrol poster.
  23. Didn’t notice how his mom put his socks back on.
  24. Decided he was going to have a Lemonade Party at nursery school.
  25. Did not invite his mom.
  26. Volunteered to demonstrate that we do have berry juice in the fridge.
  27. Accompanied his mom downstairs while passionately repeating after her ”I can’t do this anymore”.
  28. Drank up all his juice and said that he wants more.
  29. Fell victim to his mom’s hypnotic techniques, started rolling his eyes, sucking his finger and became very quiet.
  30. Wanted to know the reasons for many different things three minutes later.
  31. Became very excited with all the endless potential in many different things and sat up.
  32. Did not appreciate being pulled back to his pillow and pinched his mom .
  33. Pondered if he should maybe take his socks off because the blanket is very cold.
  34. Decided on a ‘yes’ and allowed his mom to hold them.
  35. Became very interested in the rationale behind the colour scheme choice for his room (KB: white). Stated a desire to repaint the walls pink and replace his white pillowcase with a green one.
  36. Went very silent for s few minutes and started grinding his teeth.
  37. Asked ‘who’s Greg?’
  38. Went very silent again. A deep, teeth grinding silence interrupted only by his ‘sheesh!’
  39. Fell asleep.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. He drives me nuts. I adore him.


33 thoughts on “I’ve Created a Toddler

  1. nikmat says:

    Thanks for your post Katya – it’s spot on as always! 🙂

    With my children I particularly enjoy moments similar to your #20 🙂 The socks are also all times classic of our kids’ bedtime.

    • Katia says:

      Thank you so much, Nikolay! Socks are such a charged topic with toddlers, aren’t they? They seem to channel a lot of complicated emotions… 🙂

  2. tuzenbah says:


    Sent from my iPad, 📌


  3. bisimodupe1975 says:

    Seriously its like they fight the idea of sleep every time they are asked to go bed. Wait until they discover that sleep is important. Hugs and kisses to your toddler.

    • Katia says:

      Thank you so much, friend! Yes, that’s exactly the term I use. My six year old actively fights sleep off. I try to remember what it was like when j was his age so I can be more patient but oh boy… 🙂

  4. This sounds just like my 3 year old daughter! The other night she decided that it would be great to somehow end up behind her dresser and get stuck. The life of a family with a toddler 🙂

  5. Lovely and hilarious x

  6. The Waiting says:

    I snorted my coffee through the first paragraph.

    I know I’ve said this before but it’s uncanny how similar bedtimes are at our homes, hundreds of miles apart. I mean, right down to the Paw Patrol costumes and inquiries about the identity of Greg. Bedtime has become such an ordeal lately with C that every night I resist the urge to create a listing for her on Craigslist.

  7. Oh I love this – and with three girls I can empathise… my youngest (5 ) is still in this phase – tonight we had ‘long kiss’ which is hugely inappropriate and because I keep my mouth shut I tend to start suffocating. The joys. I’ll miss it all when they settle to sleep….. but then my 10 year old will still do anything to keep me in her room.. so I’ve a while to go. Great post.

    • Katia says:

      Thanks so much! Yes, the bedtime struggle is real and the inappropriate kisses are SO awkward!!! I’m going through that right now with my older child. So glad to hear it’s a thing. 😀

  8. lrconsiderer says:

    Sooo….who IS Greg?

    Sounds like you just about managed to keep your calm, so WELL DONE for that!

    • Katia says:

      I can assure you I wasn’t amused. You’re a good friend and a kind person for assuming the best. Xoxoxo

      P.S. I don’t know!!!! Who IS freaking Greg?!

  9. Mama Ashley says:

    Now I can’t help but wonder who Greg is and I am happy I am not the only person who wants an answer to this burning question.
    Luckily my son is not quite old enough to fight me on the sleep issue yet but i see it coming like watching a storm come over the horizon… it will be agony… pure agony.

    • Katia says:

      Yes, I get how that would terrify you and I apologize 🙂

      I’m very curious about Greg myself, but couldn’t afford to ask any questions, move or breathe. The way I see it there are three possibilities:

      1. Greg is Grug, a character from Dawn of the Croods, a show big brother (who sings “Shut up That’s Right) watches. 2. Greg is Greg Heffley, the main character from Diaries of a Wimpy Kid (a book his big brother reads).
      3. Greg is Greg in which case we’re back to square one.

      Thanks so much for commenting! 🙂

  10. […] never once asked me to take them out for a walk at 6am on a wintery Canadian morning. Not even the toddler. Hashtag Blessed. In addition, I am very (un)comfortable with our current sleeping arrangement […]

  11. parentalramblings says:

    😃😃😃😃😃😃 love it! To add to the list of irrationalities (great word!) my toddler cried for me to “put the bogies back on” when I wiped his snotty nose tonight. You’ve got to laugh….I guess….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Between 2014-2015:

BlogHer '13 Voices of the Year Community Keynote Honoree
Scary Mommy
The Epistolarians


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 15,947 other followers

No Instagram images were found.

Blogarama - The Blog Directory
Finish the Sentence Friday
%d bloggers like this: