Tag Archives: parenting fears

  1. I Don’t Watch Horror Movies. Parenting is Scary Enough

    10

    October 28, 2016 by Katia

    Stuff I can relate to as a parent: anyone in a corset or practicing other forms of holding their breath. …
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    Category: Boys, Feelings, Humor, Mommy's overwhelmed, Motherhood, Sometimes I'm Funny | Tags: , , , , ,

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“First they snub the prototype (a cake-shaped squishy they’re introduced to for the very first time by fellow patrons at an Italian restaurant) with a superior shrug ‘no, thanks’. Next they announce that the continuation of their lives depends on the ownership of squishies and following the protocol, they launch a campaign. Smelling the familiar scent of victory, they throw in – as a sign of good will – a symbolic amount our way to be put toward the purchase of squishies as gifts. They select two identical sweet-smelling bread loaf squishies, and make all of their friends and friends’ friends and not so close friends and parents and dog-walking neighbours look at them. The realization that this is IT in terms of squishy versatility and repertoire must be sinking in. As time elapses the squishies generate an “11” (on a scale of 1-5, 1 being ‘passionate’ and 5 ‘hysteric’) in outbursts of emotion, but only upon realization that the objects are missing. The squishies, as all other midlife toys (three days to two weeks post-purchase) now evoke indifference and hysteria depending on their status (present or missing) and start resurfacing in off-the-beaten-track locations such as the bathroom cabinet and more popular destinations, like the parents’ bedroom. Eventually, after a three month hiatus and permanent pendulum shift toward ‘who dis’ one of the squishies is torn in half.” Continued on the blog. #amwriting #blogger #parenting #parentinghumour #parentinghumor #squishies #blogpost #funnymoms #momsofinstagram #iamthemilk #wordpress #wordpressblog

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