On the Fragility of Life and Teeth
24May 19, 2013 by Katia
For the last few days I looked more or less like this.
Thanks, but this is actually an After.
One of my wisdom teeth was removed, or as the professionals like to call it, extracted. Which makes it sound more Nazi. Goodbye #48. I don’t think either of us knew how much I appreciated you. It just ain’t the same without you.
For reasons unbeknownst to me, I assumed that the extraction was going to be no biggie and planned for a jam packed weekend, until my right cheek started resembling a biggie parachute.
Oh, and this happened to, right before the surgery.
The dental surgeon warned me before my surgery that I might die from general anaesthesia, proving that honesty is not always the best policy
— Katia DBE (@KatiaDBE) May 16, 2013
But before preparing me for my death and potential nerve damage the Dental Surgeon decided to REALLY scare me and gave me a medical pop quiz. I don’t remember what the last question was but the correct answer is Strep Throat. Remember that in case you get quizzed on your death bed, St-rep Th-roat. I got that one right because I pulled my head out of my ass and realized I was being pop quizzed, but the two other questions caught me off guard. Still consumed in thoughts of my own mortality and the fragility of life and teeth, I didn’t notice how the lecture about what was going to happen to me suddenly turned interactive and didn’t realize I was being asked questions until the Dental Surgeon started stretching the last syllables to allow room for me to jump in with “bacteria!” and “acidity!” (remember these two as well, but not “uhmmm-excu-cidity!”).
My inability to answer all but one question was generated not only by the mentioned lack of expectation of a quiz but also by complete medical ignorance. This looming surgery in addition to everything else was now also a reminder of stuff that I suck at and a blow to my ego, which is why I was happy to notice that 37 Year Old who accompanied me and is a far more advanced consumer of science AND didn’t have to deal with the whole death thing was just as mumbley and taken aback as I was.
*****
I am happy to report that I made it. There was no white tunnel, but the brush with death has taken its toll.
This week my kids looked like this.
Yeah, mismatched socks are the bestest, mama! I pooped on your head, HAHA!!
And like this:
Who cares, I’ma take’em off and eat’em anyway!
And I let them entertain themselves like that:
The bottom line is that there is no bottom line, morale or point to this post. Except for ouchy.
Have a happy, pain free, natural sized cheek Monday, everyone!
********
Did you get your wisdom teeth removed?
iamthemilk 
Because those teeth so often cause problems when they get impacted (and when we risk death to have them extracted), I think they are horribly misnamed. What is so wise about such a tooth?
It’s good to know that you survived to continue dressing your bosses in mismatched socks!
I am really not sure. With wisdom comes pain maybe?
I think from pain comes wisdom. That must be why they’re called wisdom teeth. But if they end up killing you, that wisdom will do you no good, will it?
At least you were lucid enough in your recovery to notice the differences!
:-)) Yes, I forgot to mention I opted for sedation. Didn’t feel like dying.
🙂 Good choice!
No teeth extraction for me, but I have this wonky minuscule wisdom tooth that is like a weird vortex for random food. Glad you didn’t go into the light.
😀 Yes, that was exactly what my (now phantom) tooth felt like.
I got a wisdom tooth out when I was 30. None of my other wisdom teeth came in. I had the exact opposite experience as you. I prepared for the worst: I took the day off work for my appointment, schedule it for a Friday so I’d have the whole weekend to recover. I had heard so many horror stories that I nearly had anxiety attacks just thinking about it for weeks. But mine turned out to be completely easy. I have no idea why. I had no pain or swelling. I’m sure one day I’ll have a terrible tooth story though. It’s coming….
I understand your fear, it’s funny but it’s so much more typical of me to react the way you did, overprepare, panic a little bit etc, I don’t know who that laid back person was who appeared right before the surgery. I hope your next ones are just as easy, Jessica!
I had four permanent teeth pulled to make room for braces when I was 12, so my wisdom teeth came in with no problem. I still have them. But I remember stopping at the store with my mom after getting my teeth pulled and being so out of it that I was following some random woman around thinking she was my mom.
Oh – and mismatched socks are a thing with kids (ok, mostly with girls) – so you are hip! Hope you are feeling better.
Oh, I’m so happy I unintentionally hippified my kids! Thanks, Dana!
Sometimes it goes off without a hitch, sometimes it takes a week and sometimes you go back to the dentist every single day for a month for them to “repack” instead of just getting antibiotics (which I begged for). My daughter missed a month of school and work because she got an infection they refused to treat. My other daughter also had difficulties much like yours. Now they want my son to go in. It’s very hard, as a mom, to take a perfectly healthy child into the dentist and come home with that. My ex’s kids, however, had absolutely no problems, so I don’t know, but am sure glad you recovered. Ouch is right!
Totally ouch. I go back tomorrow for assessment. It would suck even more if I had to watch my kids go through this instead of going through it myself, it must have been very difficult for you.
And thanks, I didn’t realize I was so unintentionally hip with the socks!
Oh and just so you know, they are selling mismatched socks these days, it’s in.
Oh, poor you! I got mine out in college, and all I remember is the nurse saying, “Here’s your martini!” before they put me under. I remember the recovery being painful, but not complicated. My best friend had the dry socket thing and was nearly out of her mind with pain. Seriously, she seemed kind of insane for a few days. Wisdom teeth can be a real bitch. So sorry, friend! Take good care of yourself! xo
Yes, I think being out of my mind explains a few things. 😀 Thanks so much, friend! xo
Ugh, having mine out was a nightmare! They caught a nerve, which resulted in swelling that lasted for a month! Then I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. Fun times.
UGH! Yes, I’m still as swollen as on the photo and nauseous. Kind of like being pregnant.
Glad you didn’t cross over to the other side. Crap, I’m going to the dentist tomorrow! The only thing I’m worried about is the usual admonishment about not showing up often enough and not flossing. I love the gas, but I get to the fat lip stage and start asking him if he’s seen the Cosby Dentist bit and he explains that everybody has seen it and well…he’s got a major attitude. If it weren’t for the pina colada toothpaste I’d be so outta there.
Your kids are adorable. I wanted to pinch their cheeks and wiggle those little socked toes right through the screen.
OOPS, bad timing. Forget everything I said except for strep throat! 😀 I love your free association stream there. Yes, a pina colada toothpaste sounds like a valid reason to stay with the douchey dentist 🙂
Thanks so much, Linda, I kind of agree about my boys and their toes 🙂
No, but I did just go to the dentist for the first time in 8 YEARS. Lucky for me I have good genes. No cavities, actually the inability to open my jaw or eat without horrendous cracking noises was what sent me. Who said blogging is stressful? Now I have an annoying nightguard. We’ll see how long that lasts. Mis-matched socks rock. Glad you’re all better and no longer a chipmunk!
Aargh! I actually need to get two of mine removed next week! Not. looking. forward. to. it!!
Aahh, Jesus Katia. What a pain in the mouth. But the kids seemed to have had a great week. In fact, they’d probably like you to go back again. If you were a GREAT mommy you’d take another one for the team. I’m just sayin’….