Monthly Archives: September 2016

  1. Seven Love Stories in Seven Days – #7 All the Little Things

    2

    September 26, 2016 by Katia

    All the little things. A week flies by, crawling as it does so, and you’ve already forgotten about the apple …
    Continue reading

  2. Seven Love Stories in Seven Days – #6: Museums

    2

    September 25, 2016 by Katia

    I rarely experience museums the same way anymore. At best they’re a promise that never quite gets fulfilled. Mostly we …
    Continue reading

  3. Seven Love Stories in Seven Days – #5: Dreams

    7

    September 23, 2016 by Katia

    I used to have the best dreams, even when they were the worst ones. They spread all through me reaching …
    Continue reading

  4. Seven Love Stories in Seven Days – #4: Stuff

    7

    September 22, 2016 by Katia

    Last week my preschooler was invited to a birthday party at an indoor playground. I was recovering from one of …
    Continue reading

  5. Seven Love Stories in Seven Days – #3: Birds

    9

    September 21, 2016 by Katia

    I immediately loved the birds. I’ve seen sparrows and doves back home, but when I moved to Canada, I was …
    Continue reading

  6. Seven Love Stories in Seven Days- #2: Instagram and other Filters

    2

    September 20, 2016 by Katia

    I was a latecomer to the Instagram scene thinking that what the world didn’t need was one more person sharing …
    Continue reading

  7. Seven Short Love Stories in Seven Days – #1: Tree

    6

    September 19, 2016 by Katia

    It wasn’t my favourite tree. It wasn’t as imposing as the oak in the backyard. It wasn’t beautiful, or even …
    Continue reading

Between 2014-2015:

BlogHer '13 Voices of the Year Community Keynote Honoree
Scary Mommy
The Epistolarians

Books:

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 16,058 other followers

What makes a happy new year? 
This is my story, but I suspect, it might also be yours. 
Lately I haven't been writing much. Forget writing, I can't even produce an entertaining Facebook update. Why? Because selecting the right words requires an effort and I don't have any effs (for effort) left to give. First I stopped posting to my blog, then my blog's Facebook page and eventually my own Facebook profile. I'm making an effort but I find it draining. Who knew that posting funny updates on your profile is not so easy? 
Nothing dramatic is going on in my life. Work's been extra busy with some newly added responsibilities and stress, bedtimes are still long-ish and my sleep is still often interrupted, but it's not nearly as often as before. My "me time" is limited and starts late. The emotional energy I invest in my work, the nature of my sleep and the limited time I spend on myself leave me with little energy to spare. Any energy I have left and then some is invested in my kids.

My kids, whom you all know I adore and admire, are daring, often reckless and very young and inexperienced. Sometimes I'm surprised at the extent of their lack of caution and I'm always, always disproportionately worried. I know that because I'm unlike the other mothers around me. I come from a family of worriers and anxious people. My neural pathways always lead me to a dead end - literally. I catastrophize and imagine the worst outcome. For years I've been able to rationalize and talk myself out of useless, time consuming and energy wasting internal struggles with often imagined worrisome scenarios, but now that words are burdensome and my energy is dwindled, I can't. 
I'm entering this new year happier and more optimistic than I've been in awhile. Yesterday I went to see my doctor. After a lot of internal turmoil and thoughts about cancelling my appointment I came in and blurted out: I think I'm suffering from some form of anxiety. His very calm and matter of fact-ish reaction ("like everyone else in the 21st century") wasn't dismissive, but reassuring. Self care sometimes means looking deeper. 
I wish everyone a happy new year of good mental health. It's the basis for everything.
Donate-a-post-iv
mumsnet
Blogarama - The Blog Directory
Finish the Sentence Friday